60 Hilarious Hair Puns and Jokes That Are Shear Genius

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Let’s be honest — hair can bring on quite a few laughs. Like that time you attempted the Kool-Aid hair dye trend on your child, only to end up with a sticky purple mess sticking straight up (and then spent an exasperating hour trying to detangle it). Beyond those hair-raising moments, there’s a treasure trove of hair puns and jokes that provide the perfect dose of humor when you need a giggle.

However, hair can also be a sensitive subject for many. Whether it’s postpartum hair loss, a receding hairline, or another hair-related concern, we recognize that we’re not aiming to make light of serious situations. Our goal is simply to add some levity to the lighter side of hair. After all, you’ll want to keep a sense of humor when your little one gets slime tangled in their hair for the fifth time this week (seriously, can we be done with slime already?).

So, enjoy these hair puns and jokes with that in mind. And when you reach our section of bald jokes, remember the wise words of Larry David: “Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man — there’s your diamond in the rough.”

Best Hair Puns and Jokes

Why was Pavlov’s hair so disheveled? Because he didn’t condition it.
Why did the king prohibit haircuts for everyone in the kingdom? He considered it an act of hair-esy.
What did the barber exclaim when he saw a customer with voluminous hair? “Hair comes trouble!”
Why was the woman’s hair so furious? Because she was always teasing it!
How did the tour guide introduce visitors to the world’s longest strand of hair? “Welcome to the main hair-itage attraction of our town!”
Barber: “And how old are you, young man?”
Fred: “Eight.”
Barber: “Do you want a haircut?”
Fred: “Well, I didn’t come in for a shave!”
What song did the woman with a wavy hair bun sing? “Carry On, My Wayward Bun.”
What did the barber say after cleaning his shop? “It feels like a breath of fresh hair!”
A guy enters a barbershop. The barber asks, “What will it be today?” The guy replies, “I want waves on top, faded on one side, plugged on the other, and just make it all weird and messy.” The confused barber asks, “Why would you want your hair cut like that?” The guy responds, “That’s how you cut it last time.”
I used to dislike my hair… but it’s growing on me.

And the list continues with more witty hair jokes!

Best (Good-Natured) Bald Jokes

What’s a big perk of being bald? You can never be blamed for finding a hair in your food.
Why is the bald eagle bald? Because it has no hair—silly, it has feathers!
What did one man tell his friend with a receding hairline? “Hey, friend, I can see your head has a brighter future than mine.”
Why do bald people avoid using keys? Because they don’t have any locks.
A woman was cutting her husband’s thinning hair when their teenage son arrived home looking for a snack. She offered him a kiwifruit and said, “It has more vitamin C than an orange.” Their son replied, “And more hair than Dad!”

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In summary, hair-related humor can lighten the mood while also touching on sensitive topics with care. Whether you’re embracing the fun side of hair puns or sharing some good-hearted bald jokes, there’s laughter to be found everywhere.

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