For months, I’ve carried a heavy burden that I’ve hesitated to share, fearing it might come off as too political. However, it’s not about politics; it’s deeply personal. Today, I’m taking a leap of faith and sharing a part of my life that is intertwined with my journey following a profound loss. Please read this with an open heart as I reveal that my family is currently relying on Medicaid.
When I married my husband, I was fortunate enough to leave my job and embrace the role of a stay-at-home mom, while he became the primary breadwinner. He devoted himself to providing for our family, and his hard work allowed us to enjoy a comfortable life with good health insurance. I was acutely aware of this privilege and grateful for it.
However, when he fell ill, our financial situation began to unravel. We spent substantial amounts on medications, medical bills, and specialized care, which led to a rapid depletion of our savings. The costs of being sick are staggering.
After my husband passed away, our family lost its primary source of income and health insurance. Thankfully, due to his years of hard work, we qualified for Social Security survivor benefits, which provided some financial relief. Still, the challenge of securing health insurance remained daunting. I explored options but was directed to Medicaid, as that was what we qualified for.
I could have continued with our existing coverage, but the COBRA premium far exceeded our reduced monthly income. Sure, I could have immediately sought new employment, but my children were grappling with their own grief and navigating the transition to public school. They needed me present and available to support them through this tumultuous time.
Despite knowing that this decision was right for our family, I often battle feelings of guilt, fear, and shame. I hear unkind remarks from others who don’t understand our situation, with many viewing Medicaid recipients as lazy or dishonest. Those perceptions cut deep and make me question our worth. Are we now seen as less-than because we find ourselves in this challenging situation?
My husband and I contributed to systems like Medicaid throughout our working lives. Yet, hearing negative judgments about our reliance on this safety net makes me feel undeserving, even if temporarily, as I navigate this transition.
I’m diligently working towards building a career that will eventually allow us to afford private health insurance, but right now, I feel judged for owning an iPhone or driving a minivan—items we acquired long before my husband’s illness. I wonder if those judgments are directed at families like mine, who are simply trying to recover from a life-altering event.
I never wished for my husband’s illness or the extensive care he required. I never imagined I would need frequent counseling after losing him, nor did I expect to find myself in this new reality as a family of four, living on a fraction of what we once had.
Yet, here we are, and Medicaid is our lifeline. As we work through our healing process, I recognize that many Americans—nearly 70 million—rely on Medicaid too. This program serves a diverse population, from the elderly to those facing financial hardships like mine. While I don’t know their individual stories, I know they exist, and I respect their struggles.
I want to clarify that I am not lazy or trying to exploit the system. I am genuinely striving to rebuild our lives and meet our family’s needs. I recognize the privilege I have in receiving survivor benefits, as many families aren’t so fortunate. I often think about how I could help those who are struggling, perhaps by supporting them during their difficult times.
Navigating life as a widowed mom has been a blow to my self-esteem. I constantly battle fears about the future, especially concerning our Medicaid coverage. What happens if it’s taken away? Can we afford my son’s necessary medications? Will my children continue to receive the counseling they need? These questions haunt me daily, making me reevaluate our options.
Nonetheless, I believe that relying on Medicaid during this challenging period is the best choice for us. It’s not a permanent solution, but it provides the support we need as we work on rebuilding our lives.
Everyone faces unseen battles, and what may seem like a perfect life on the outside often masks struggles on the inside. I’ve learned firsthand that life can change in an instant, and no one is immune to needing help. We should strive to approach each other with understanding, kindness, and support rather than judgment and blame.
Let’s extend compassion to one another, especially when life gets tough. Together, we can foster an environment of grace and understanding, helping each other rise above our challenges.
In conclusion, our experience with Medicaid has forced me to confront societal judgments and navigate a new reality. I hope sharing our story encourages others to approach those in need with compassion and empathy.
Summary
This article discusses the author’s personal journey with Medicaid after the loss of her husband. It reflects on the societal stigma surrounding Medicaid recipients and emphasizes the importance of compassion and understanding during difficult times. As she navigates her family’s new reality, the author highlights the challenges of rebuilding a life while relying on support systems like Medicaid.