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A few years ago, I unintentionally made a comment that hurt a friend from the LGBTQ community. When I recognized the impact of my words, I felt a wave of nausea and horror. I realized I had let down someone I cared about, failing to be the ally I aspired to be. In that moment, my intent and feelings were irrelevant; what truly mattered was my reaction. I offered a sincere apology, vowed to learn from my mistake, and ultimately became a more supportive ally.
This humbling experience was not pleasant, and even now, reflecting on it evokes feelings of regret and disappointment. However, these emotions can either lead to defensiveness or be transformed into valuable lessons for growth. I choose to embrace the latter, taking responsibility and committing myself to the continuous journey of learning and unlearning.
Moreover, I am dedicated to teaching my children how to be effective allies, ensuring they do not inflict similar pain or carry the burden of regret. Many parents likely share this goal.
“Nurturing Allies for the LGBTQ Community” by Taylor Morgan, released on May 14, is a valuable resource to support us in this endeavor. This book blends memoir and guide, providing insights for parents, educators, caregivers, and anyone looking to understand how to stand in solidarity with the LGBTQ community. Morgan highlights common pitfalls, shares personal experiences with authenticity, and offers practical advice to avoid missteps.
To genuinely be good allies and raise future allies, we must cultivate humility, enabling us to absorb the lessons offered by voices like Morgan’s. This is a lesson I learned the hard way, but it is vital. The more humility we practice, the more we learn and grow, leading us to become better allies ourselves.
To effectively nurture allies, we must embrace learning and acknowledge our mistakes. Trust me, we will stumble, and those missteps are uncomfortable. However, we can normalize humility, education, and growth to evolve into better allies and individuals.
The book “Nurturing Allies for the LGBTQ Community” encourages conversations about the potential of having an LGBTQ child or family member. It challenges us to confront heteronormativity, prompting self-reflection on our own biases to prevent passing them down. It provides exercises, tips, and guidance for this important work.
I want my children to understand how to be compassionate allies, and I believe you do too. Luckily, we have friends who forgive us, educators who guide us, and insightful books like this to deepen our understanding.
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