I Had Intimate Encounters with 16 People in a Year — I Won’t Accept Your Judgment

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“I heard a guy really went for it with her in the kitchen,” said Jake.
“That’s a bit much, don’t you think?”
“And she’s been with pretty much every guy at the hostel. It’s just gross.”

We were sitting in a lively courtyard filled with food trucks near Budapest’s ruin bars. I was on a solo journey around the globe, and Jake, from Australia, was also exploring Europe alone for a few months.

As I listened to him talk about this other woman, I couldn’t help but reflect on the men I had been with during my travels. In just three months, I counted seven, including him.

In Malta, there was a charming Argentinian I met in the hostel showers. In Pisa, I connected with a romantic Italian construction worker who adored opera. Then in San Sebastian, I had a brief encounter with a muscular German on the beach, where we communicated through our bodies, despite the language barrier.

In Barcelona, I had a memorable experience with an older Belgian guy at a rave in a castle. And just the day before meeting Jake in Budapest, I had a fun night with a handsome Portuguese business student in his hostel, all while his friend slept above us (he assured me it was fine).

But I kept all of this to myself that day in the courtyard. Instead, I simply munched on my veggie burger, thinking about how that woman could have easily been me.

I told myself I wouldn’t have done what she had done. Sure, I wouldn’t have engaged in such a public display, but why was I so quick to dissociate from her? I should have defended her instead of remaining silent.

In that hostel, we were all engaging in the same behavior. Jake, myself, and seemingly everyone else were enjoying the thrill of young, hot travelers bonding in dorms and sharing drinks.

So who was Jake to judge her? I should have said something, but fear of judgment silenced me.

Many of us, especially those from older generations, have been raised with confusing messages about sex. On one hand, we embrace sex as a part of life and the allure of casual encounters. On the other, we often view those who engage in it frequently as flawed.

Women, in particular, face scrutiny for being either too conservative or too promiscuous. Not long ago, my friends and I worried about our “number,” believing it somehow diminished our worth.

There’s even a film, “What’s Your Number,” that suggests a woman with more than 20 partners would struggle to find a husband—which is fundamentally flawed.

I’ll admit, sex isn’t always perfect. It can be awkward, regretful, and at times, risky. Yet, at its core, when practiced consensually, it’s empowering and beautiful. We often forget to tell that story.

So here it is: I had intimate encounters with 16 men during my year abroad, and it was an extraordinary experience.

Though brief, each connection was powerful, free from pretense. We acted on our desires without concern for the future. We simply reveled in the joy of our bodies and formed connections that would linger in our memories.

Who has the right to judge me for that? Or anyone else? Sex is a gift, an escape, and a form of expression.

As Osho eloquently stated, everything beautiful in the world is tied to sex. Birds singing, flowers blooming, and juicy fruits—all stem from the essence of reproduction. Why is human sexuality often viewed as taboo?

Ultimately, society’s shame about sex makes it seem dirty. Let’s break that cycle. Let’s celebrate sex as it should be. I had intimate encounters with 16 men while traveling, and it was beautiful. What’s your number?

For further insights on the topic, check out this post on home insemination that covers similar themes. If you’re considering options for starting a family, you can learn more about boosting fertility here. Additionally, for comprehensive information on pregnancy and home insemination, visit this excellent resource from ACOG: Treating Infertility.

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Summary:

In reflecting on her year of travel and intimate encounters, the author challenges societal judgments surrounding sex and intimacy. Emphasizing that consensual relationships can be empowering and beautiful, she confronts the double standards faced by women concerning their sexual history and advocates for a celebration of sexuality rather than shame.

Keyphrase: Intimate encounters during travel

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