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For as long as I can remember, I dreamed of becoming a mother. I carried my cherished Cabbage Patch doll with brown hair everywhere, complete with her little “adoption” card. Before I had children, my mind was filled with countless daydreams about motherhood. I imagined the joy of my kids calling me “mom” or “mama.” I envisioned myself being the first to arrive at their school events, joining the PTA, and baking homemade cookies for them to enjoy after school.
For many years, I struggled with the absence of my own mother, and the idea of referring to other women as “mom” just didn’t resonate with me. I yearned to become the mother I never had, believing I could do it all on my own. However, I’ve learned that motherhood isn’t a solo journey; it thrives on community support. This Mother’s Day, I am incredibly thankful for the women in my life. With age, I’ve come to understand my own identity as a mother. While I can’t draw from my own mother’s influence, I’ve built a community of supportive women who fill that role for me.
A Pew Research Center report from 2013 revealed that 7 million children in the U.S. were living with a grandparent as their primary caregiver. I was one of those children, raised by my maternal grandparents, who provided me with the warmth and love characteristic of southern upbringing. My grandmother taught me how to create a welcoming home and navigate the kitchen. Her unwavering belief in the power of love inspires me every day, especially when the world seems bleak.
I often reflect on Oprah Winfrey’s wise words: “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more.” Although my grandmother could never replace my mother, she stepped into the role of a nurturing figure when I needed it most and continues to teach me about resilience.
While many people have tumultuous relationships with their in-laws, my wife and I are fortunate to have healthy, positive connections with ours. I particularly cherish my mother-in-law, who has imparted invaluable lessons about balancing work and motherhood. She regularly checks in on me, reminds me to take care of myself, and even helps me cultivate a flourishing garden.
As women, we have the power to choose our paths in life. Author Jill Churchill aptly said, “There is no way to a perfect mother-in-law, but millions of ways to be a good one.” My mother-in-law lovingly nudges me in ways I hope to mirror with my own children someday. It’s taken hard work from both of us to build our relationship, but it’s worth it for the sake of our family.
Motherhood has turned out to be richer and more fulfilling than I ever envisioned. It is filled with challenges, rewards, and countless lessons—so much so that I’m even writing a book about it. This Mother’s Day, I choose to acknowledge and appreciate the remarkable women in my life who make up my support network. The relationships we cultivate with these women are invaluable, not just for ourselves but for our children as well. By learning from and cherishing our community of women—whether or not they are our biological mothers—we bring our best selves to our families.
For more insights on this topic, check out this blog post and consider resources like Make a Mom for home insemination kits, and Healthline for pregnancy information.