From the Heart: We Deserve More Than a Pasta Necklace on Mother’s Day

pregnant woman throwing toddler in the air sitting by a tree

Ah, May. The flowers are blooming, the sun is shining, and that delightful second Sunday of the month arrives—a day filled with love, relaxation, and those charming pasta necklaces. Right? Hahaha. Sure, the pasta necklace part is accurate, but can you name a single mom who genuinely gets to “relax” on Mother’s Day? Who isn’t up at the crack of dawn dealing with syrupy breakfast messes made by the family or getting dragged to a brunch organized by their mother-in-law that everyone is expected to attend? For many of us, this day often turns into more work than a typical Sunday, and honestly, we’re done with it.

Here’s what we truly need, folks. Absolutely no obligations—like NONE—on that day. We want our significant other (or really, anyone) to take the kids out for hours on end so we don’t have to hear “mommy, mommy, mommy” or deal with pee or referee disputes over the iPad. We crave blissful, glorious solitude. And we definitely don’t want to wrestle our toddlers into khakis for a photo op with Grandma at brunch.

Seriously, it’s not that complicated. Don’t mess this up, especially since we’ve been navigating life amid a pandemic since the last Mother’s Day, and we desperately need a break.

All I wanted for Mother’s Day was a delicious takeout dinner that I didn’t have to plan. I didn’t want to cook. My partner never thinks ahead, and most restaurants won’t accept last-minute orders. Ugh! Forget Mother’s Day!

Confession #25780058: I can’t stand my partner. He did NOTHING for me on Mother’s Day, but come Father’s Day, I’m sure he’ll expect a special treat. At this rate, he might be receiving divorce papers instead.

Confession #25780018: I dread Mother’s Day; every year he finds a way to ruin the whole weekend for me. I don’t want anything extravagant—just a normal weekend. Instead, he sleeps until 3 PM, wakes up, and finds something to berate me about, making me feel terrible.

Confession #25779873: My expectations for Mother’s Day were set incredibly low from the start when my partner slept until 1 PM, leaving me with a three-week-old baby while recovering from a C-section. Nothing has changed since then.

Some of us have learned since our very first Mother’s Day to keep our expectations low (or non-existent). Yet, some still cling to the hope that maybe, just maybe, our partner won’t screw it up this year. But, inevitably, they do.

This year, I’m treating myself to a shopping spree—alone. I plan to enjoy a Starbucks and take my sweet time.

Confession #25779896: This Mother’s Day, I’m grilling BBQ ribs, making macaroni salad, baked beans, deviled eggs, and a strawberry jello poke cake for dessert. My partner and the kids are welcome to join me if they want.

Confession #25779772: I told my partner and teens that I won’t be cooking for Mother’s Day. I’ve prepared 2-3 meals a day throughout quarantine, and I’m done. They can fend for themselves—go to McDonald’s if they want. I need a break!

Confession #25779082: My best Mother’s Day ever consisted of planting the flowers I bought for myself, day-drinking, cooking a fantastic dinner, and enjoying some fun with my hot boyfriend while the kids were with their dad. Absolutely delightful!

Some of us have had to take Mother’s Day into our own hands and create our own happiness. We eat what we want, drink what we want, and do what we want, and it feels amazing.

I better be getting that diamond for Mother’s Day! Sorry, family, but macaroni pictures, food, and homemade cards won’t restore my sanity or the little alone time I used to have. DIAMONDS, DAMNIT…DIAMONDS!

Confession #25778418: There are three days a year I don’t have to cook: my birthday, Mother’s Day, and our anniversary. When my partner and kids do cook (which is rare), they leave the cleanup for me to handle the next day. I’m not sure that counts as a gift.

Confession #25767735: My partner told me he got the same gift for both me and his mom for Mother’s Day—what the heck? That feels lazy and disrespectful. We’re different people. If you can’t do better, just don’t get me anything.

Confession #25830759: My partner ruined Mother’s Day by offering to take on all my usual tasks, then complaining nonstop about it. The older I get, the more I realize how pointless men can be. I refuse to raise my son that way and I’m frustrated that I can’t just have one day to unwind.

Confession #23634651: Mother’s Day is miserable! I woke up to a stinky house because our dog got sprayed by a skunk and had to give him a bath. I made my own breakfast and did yard work. My son tried to bake me a cake, but it didn’t work out, leading to a huge meltdown. I’m so over this day.

Sometimes, family “attempts” at gifts can be even worse. Seriously, your present is disappointing; thanks but no thanks.

Confession #25779703: I loathe Mother’s Day—my own mom is a nightmare, and my kids seem indifferent. Everything feels forced, and it’s all a lie.

Confession #25779261: I absolutely detest Mother’s Day and refuse to spend my time, money, or effort honoring a woman who doesn’t deserve it.

Confession #23607006: I’m trying to avoid the awkward Mother’s Day call tomorrow by making it today—my mom isn’t answering. I’m sure she’ll call while I have guests, and I’ll end up ignoring her and calling her later. I’m so tired of her games. I need peace.

Confession #23562031: I have always hated Mother’s Day! If my mom didn’t receive a nice gift, there would be hell to pay. Now that she’s gone, I still hate it!

Confession #23529943: As a child, my dad would take my sister and me shopping for a Mother’s Day gift for mom. I hated spending money on that rude, awful woman. Everyone in the family feared her. I’m glad I’m estranged.

In the end, Mother’s Day can bring a lot of emotional baggage and trigger significant pain—especially if your own mom wasn’t a great influence. A day that should be filled with love and appreciation can feel like the opposite for many of us. That’s why so many moms create their own joy on Mother’s Day and stop depending on others. And you should do the same. Forget your narcissistic mother-in-law, selfish partner, or lazy kids who forgot the day. Treat yourself to a coffee shop, a nail salon, or a bookstore and indulge in what you truly deserve. If you can’t get away, add something nice to your online cart—a new pair of sandals or that wreath you’ve been eyeing for your front door.

And when you hit “checkout” or wave goodbye to your family as you drive away, don’t forget to say, “Happy Mother’s Day, Mom” to yourself. Because you absolutely deserve it.

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In summary, many moms find Mother’s Day to be more exhausting than enjoyable. Instead of relying on others for recognition, they’re learning to create their own happiness and take the day into their own hands. Whether it’s indulging in a favorite meal or enjoying a peaceful day out, self-care is the key.

Keyphrase: Mother’s Day self-care for moms

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