As summer finally graces us with its presence, I find myself relieved by the absence of homework battles, early morning wake-ups, and the never-ending lunch packing. Most importantly, I’m thrilled that my preteen’s soccer season has come to an end—at least for the next few months.
When a child is deeply invested in a team sport, it demands a considerable commitment from the entire family. Countless hours are spent driving to practices and games, volunteering, and cheering from the sidelines. I enjoy watching my daughter excel, and as long as she finds joy in it, I’m more than willing to cart her around and be her biggest supporter.
However, navigating the anxiety that often accompanies her participation in team sports has been quite challenging—for both of us. In the days leading up to a game, I can see the worry build in her. She dreads being assigned to the goalie position, a role that places immense pressure on her. The thought of letting in a goal weighs heavily on her mind, as does the pressure of being a forward and ensuring she makes the right passes. Her thoughts spiral around the fear of disappointing her teammates or appearing selfish.
This anxiety doesn’t simply fade once she steps onto the field; it lingers, sometimes transforming into an overwhelming rush of adrenaline that drives her to sprint toward the goal. Yet, it can just as easily manifest as a cloud of worry that darkens her expressions even in a winning game. This isn’t about sportsmanship—she’s an exemplary team player, always supporting her teammates and showing kindness. The real issue at hand is her anxiety.
My daughter tends to feel uneasy in unfamiliar situations and often seeks reassurance about upcoming events. Whether we’re traveling or attending a new activity, she needs to know every detail, from flight numbers to the exact time we need to leave. When anxious, she displays signs of restlessness, fidgeting and tapping her foot. What we once perceived as mere curiosity has now become evident as anxiety, and we strive to accommodate her needs. Thus, we prepare the night before soccer games, allowing her ample time to get ready, adjusting her shin guards and wrestling with her socks. We help her breathe through her worries, and every time we ask if she wants to continue, her answer is a resolute “yes.”
Despite our support through numerous seasons of soccer, I find myself questioning the long-term benefits. While being part of a team helps with self-esteem, fitness, communication, and the value of commitment, I’ve come to realize that these potential advantages can sometimes be overshadowed by anxiety. A survey by the National Alliance for Youth Sports indicates that about 70% of kids abandon sports by age 13, often citing a loss of enjoyment. I can certainly empathize; for some children, the stress of competition overshadows the fun.
Not every child flourishes in a team environment, and that’s perfectly acceptable. It doesn’t imply they lack teamwork skills or will struggle to collaborate with others. For kids like my daughter, who grapples with anxiety on a regular basis, the pressure of being part of a competitive team can amplify their worries, preventing them from enjoying the game.
With soccer now behind us for the season, she appears visibly lighter, and she won’t be participating in team sports over the summer. Instead, she’s headed to a sleepaway camp where she’ll engage in tennis and swimming—individual sports that lack the weight of team obligations. My hope is that she discovers activities that bring her joy and challenge her without the burden of anxiety.
In conclusion, while team sports have their merits, they may not be the best match for every child. Each child is unique, and finding the right fit for their interests and temperament is vital for their overall happiness and development. If you’re considering your options, this link provides insights on family planning, while this resource offers valuable information on pregnancy and home insemination. For more guidance on child development, check out this article.