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If you’ve faced postpartum depression, anxiety, OCD, or any other perinatal mood disorder, you understand the overwhelming weight these conditions can impose. I received my postpartum depression diagnosis in late 2013 and didn’t begin to see the light until the summer of 2014, nearly 16 months after giving birth. During that time, I felt like I was drowning, and there were moments when I wished I could escape it all.
Despite society’s growing awareness of mental health issues, maternal mental health challenges remain largely misunderstood. After welcoming a new baby into the world, these moments are expected to be filled with joy and bliss – you should be riding high on a wave of elation. But what if that’s not your reality? The documentary “Year One” seeks to answer this pressing question by chronicling the journey of writer and filmmaker Ava Greene through her first year of being a mother.
Ava shares, “When I embark on making a documentary, it begins with a question that drives me to seek answers. I wanted to capture the essence of motherhood, but I didn’t fully grasp its complexities until I became a mom myself. I felt a deep need to explore the identity shifts that occur. However, during the early filming stages, I was diagnosed with postpartum depression, which profoundly influenced the narrative of the film as I sought ways to heal and grow.”
Reflecting on her experience, Ava says, “The initial weeks after giving birth were nothing like I had anticipated. I was so focused on merely surviving that connecting with my daughter felt like a distant goal. While everything I read suggested this was ‘normal,’ the well-meaning advice from friends and family to cherish every moment left me feeling like a failure. I began to question whether I was cut out for motherhood.”
Ava’s feelings are not unique, as many parents face challenges when bonding with their newborns. New moms and dads find themselves getting to know a little person they’ve brought into the world, fostering a relationship from scratch. They often wrestle with feelings of inadequacy, second-guessing every choice. It’s a conversation we seldom have, whether about the struggles of feeding, sleepless nights, or the emotional turmoil that can accompany new parenthood.
“Some days, I feel like I can’t catch my breath,” Ava confesses in the film. “I’m overwhelmed with guilt and sadness, questioning why I can’t feel more grateful.” Postpartum depression stole those feelings from her, leaving her in a state of apathy and anxiety until she reached what she describes as “rock bottom.”
“I couldn’t manage the darkness within me,” Ava explains. “There were times I thought my daughter might be better off without me, and I contemplated ending my life.” Fortunately, Ava did not succumb to those thoughts, just as I didn’t. We both sought help from our partners. By reaching out, we discovered hope. Ava joined peer support groups, while I turned to professional help. With therapy and medication, I learned to navigate my emotions. It’s crucial to understand that you don’t have to hit “rock bottom” to seek help.
Ava emphasizes the importance of education in understanding, treating, and preventing perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs). “The more people are aware of PMADs, the more empowered they will be,” she states. Knowledge can also facilitate the process of asking for help. “When my postpartum depression worsened, I hesitated to seek assistance, fearing that someone might take my baby away. Our society perpetuates the dangerous myth that postpartum depression leads to harming babies, when in fact, such harm is linked to the rare condition of postpartum psychosis, affecting only 1 in 1000 mothers.”
Symptoms of postpartum and perinatal mood disorders can vary widely, from anger and apathy to sadness, irritability, and anxiety. Feelings of numbness or a lack of interest in activities are also common signs that something may be amiss. “Year One” is set to premiere on May 4, and viewers can watch it online on YouTube or through the documentary’s official site.
If you or someone you know is grappling with postpartum depression, anxiety, or other perinatal mood disorders, remember that help is available. For immediate support, reach out to a healthcare provider or explore resources like Postpartum Support International.
For further insights, check out this related article and find authoritative information at Make a Mom and Healthline.
Summary
The documentary “Year One,” directed by Ava Greene, delves into the struggles of motherhood, particularly focusing on the often unspoken challenges of postpartum depression and anxiety. Through her personal experience, Ava highlights the importance of seeking help and understanding PMADs, aiming to shed light on the complexities of new parenthood.
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