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My eldest child is set to graduate from high school in just two months. Since his early years, he has struggled academically, barely passing each grade. School has never been his passion; he loathes being cooped up in a classroom all day. At times, I’ve questioned whether he would even graduate.
While I do my best to encourage him to submit his assignments, I am not the type of parent who will complete his schoolwork for him. If he needs to attend summer school or repeat a grade, that might just teach him the value of being responsible with his studies.
However, my son is one of the most diligent individuals I know; he just doesn’t thrive in a classroom setting. Currently, he is working hard at the local landfill, putting in 10-hour days during his spring break, and helping his father with plumbing on the weekends. This is where he shines. He enjoys being active, fixing things, and working with his hands.
I suspected early on that college might not be in his future, unlike my husband and me. When we had three children, we assumed they would all follow our path to higher education, so we began saving.
But life has a way of complicating plans—after going through a divorce, it became nearly impossible to save enough to prevent either my kids or myself from being burdened with debt. The average cost of public college for an out-of-state student is around $21,000 per year, which is relatively affordable compared to private colleges, averaging closer to $37,000.
I graduated from a private institution in 1993. My mother assisted me a bit, but as a single parent of four, she had limited resources. I’m still paying off my student loans, and will continue for the next five years.
If my son wanted to pursue a college degree, I would support him wholeheartedly. However, I can’t help but feel relieved that he won’t be taking on a mountain of debt—and I won’t have to secure additional loans to assist him, which would likely be necessary.
Even though my husband and I have stable incomes, we also have younger children who will follow in line. Life always seems to throw curveballs that make saving for college feel unattainable.
We also aim to save for our retirement to ensure financial independence and to cover any future care needs, so our kids won’t have to shoulder that burden.
Should my son decide to attend college later in life, I’ll be there to support him as much as I can because I believe he deserves that opportunity. But I’m grateful I don’t have to deal with the stress of loans, grants, filling out endless paperwork, and worrying about financial strain. This relief is a significant weight off my shoulders.
I appreciate that he isn’t going to college just because his friends are or because he feels societal pressure. He understands he has options. College tuition is expensive, particularly if one is attending just to fit in or to please their parents.
Ultimately, my goal is for my children to find happiness. Whether that means attending a technical college, a trade school, a university, or opting out of higher education altogether, I will support their choices.
One thing I will never do is pressure them into pursuing more education—something I experienced, and I believe they would regret if they found themselves in the same situation.
My son is becoming a young adult, and it’s essential for him to make these decisions independently and learn from them. At his age, I struggled to comprehend the financial implications of borrowing for college, even though the details were laid out for me.
As a parent to teenagers, I have many concerns to juggle. Saving for and paying for college is undoubtedly one of them. However, it’s been challenging to engage him in school, and there’s no way I’m sending an unmotivated student off to further education, only to see him accumulate debt in the process. So I’m not shy about admitting that this burden being lifted is a relief—for both of us.
Related Resources
For more insights, you can check out this related post on home insemination kits. Additionally, if you’re curious about at-home insemination, visit Make a Mom’s guide for expert advice. For those considering their first IUI, Parents.com offers fantastic resources.
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Summary:
The author expresses relief that her son has opted not to pursue college immediately after high school, recognizing his strengths in hands-on work rather than academics. She reflects on the challenges of saving for education after a divorce, the burden of student loans, and the importance of allowing her son to make his own decisions regarding his future. Ultimately, she prioritizes her children’s happiness and supports their choices, whether they involve higher education or not.
Keyphrase: Relief about son’s college decision
Tags: “home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”