My Partner Had the Idea to Hang Up a Photo of His Ex in His Bedroom—Seriously?!

Last weekend, I settled into my partner’s swivel chair to wrap up an article when I noticed a stack of photos beside his computer. It had been there since we started dating a year ago. Though I had glanced through them a few times, I decided to take a closer look.

At the top of the pile were two recent pictures of us—one from our camping trip and another by a lake during a getaway with friends. Next were some photo strips featuring him and his buddies. But then I spotted the two photos that made my stomach drop. One showed him and his ex-girlfriend along with another woman, and the other was a small polaroid of just him and his ex—the only woman he had ever lived with—grinning at the camera, her arms around him, both appearing blissfully happy.

I turned to him, who was lounging in bed. “What’s with all these photos?” I asked.

“I was thinking of hanging them up,” he replied, yawning.

“All of them? Including a picture of you and your ex?” I held up the polaroid for him to see.

“Well, I hadn’t given it much thought, but maybe,” he shrugged.

We shared a moment of silence, staring at the photo together. My irritation began to bubble beneath the surface. I expected him to joke about it, but he remained quiet. Finally, I said, “Okay,” with a hint of annoyance, feeling like he was toying with me. I stood up and handed him the photo.

“I don’t have to put it up if it makes you uncomfortable. I just thought it was a nice memory,” he said, tossing the picture back into the pile.

I crossed the room, turning back to face him. “But you aren’t really friends with her anymore. Why does she deserve to be on your wall?”

“I’m not close with those other people either,” he countered, grabbing a photo of him and some friends wearing silly hats. “But it was still a fun time I want to remember.”

His logic was hard to argue against, and my frustration deepened. Desperate, I pulled out my final argument. “How would you feel if I displayed a picture of me and my ex?”

He was ready for that one. “I might feel a bit weird, especially if it was the only picture. But if it was just one of many, I’d be okay with it.”

I sighed, realizing most people would feel uneasy about their partner showcasing an ex. But knowing that didn’t lessen my discomfort. I thought about putting up pictures of my past relationships but decided against it, mostly because I hadn’t fully healed from my last breakup. Yet, the idea of showcasing older exes didn’t seem so outrageous. I cherished those memories, even if I had moved on.

Just because he had loved his ex doesn’t mean he still did. His ability to display that photo without sadness might indicate he had let go of strong feelings for her. And if he still held some affection, that didn’t diminish his love for me.

In the end, I realized I might have to concede. Maybe there was no valid reason for him not to hang up those photos—only my insecurities holding me back.

“If it bothers you, I won’t put it up,” he said, stroking my hair as he met my gaze.

“I’m not entirely comfortable with it, but I think I understand,” I replied, managing a small smile as my tension eased. “Let’s revisit this when you eventually get around to hanging those photos up next year.”

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Summary

In this article, Emily confronts her partner about his plan to hang a photo of his ex in their bedroom. Their conversation explores themes of memory, relationships, and insecurities, ultimately leading to a mutual understanding about their feelings.

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