Why I Choose to Embrace My Natural Self

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Back in the day, I dreamed of being a fashion designer. I would spend countless hours sketching outfits and, as soon as I could get a job, I poured my earnings into my wardrobe, loving finds from thrift stores and the occasional splurge on a signature scent. I remember sneaking into my mom’s makeup drawer, trying to recreate the looks I saw online, pretending I was a beauty guru even when I had no clue what I was doing.

Before social media took off, my kids would tease me as I narrated my cooking adventures in the kitchen. “Now, you spread the pizza dough, drizzle it with olive oil, and sprinkle with salt,” I’d say, as they rolled their eyes, convinced I thought I was hosting a cooking show.

One of my favorite pastimes is gathering with girlfriends and sisters, chatting about hair care, makeup tips, and fashion favorites. It feels therapeutic, and I genuinely enjoy those moments. So, when my Instagram began to gain traction thanks to my writing, I was thrilled to share my fashion picks and home decor. I loved being a resource for others looking for inspiration.

At almost 46, filming myself trying new beauty products doesn’t always come easy. Recently, I did several takes of myself applying a face mask for a promotion. Without any makeup on, I couldn’t help but notice my dark circles, forehead lines, and the signs of aging creeping in. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t consider using a beauty filter to hide those imperfections. But I refuse to go that route.

Firstly, those filters distort my features—they change the shape of my eyes and nose, erasing what makes me, me. How can I accurately show you how well a product works if I’m hiding behind a façade? Secondly, seeing others use these filters sometimes makes me question my own appearance. I know they’re filtered, yet it’s easy to forget that everyone’s using the same technology to curate their looks. It’s disheartening and impacts my self-esteem.

The primary reason I stay authentic online is that I don’t want to contribute to the insecurities many teenagers face today. Last fall, my daughter shared TikTok videos of teens expressing their desire for cosmetic surgery after using filters, which is alarming. We’ve moved past simple photo editing; people are using apps that create an entirely different person.

I can’t help but feel self-conscious about my aging features—my sagging skin, veins, and the shape of my nose. While I could use a little enhancement, I refuse to present a filtered image as a testament to a product’s effectiveness. There’s no beauty product that can replicate the effects of a filter. It’s important to remember that filters are far from reality.

How can we teach younger generations to embrace self-love and acceptance if we’re constantly altering our appearances online? My teenage daughter sees me without filters. What message am I sending if she sees me hiding behind a veneer of perfection? It would imply that I don’t believe my natural self is worthy of being seen.

Yes, I might be older than many influencers, but I’ve worked hard to accept my unique self, imperfections included. I won’t let a filter overshadow who I am. I also refuse to let my online presence impact how someone else feels about their looks. I feel vulnerable at times, which is completely normal. However, if showing my true self can positively influence even a few individuals, it’s worth it.

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