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During my divorce, I kept hearing the phrase, “You’ve got this!” It was infuriating—especially on days when I felt like I was barely holding it together. It’s all too easy for someone outside your situation to say you can manage when they’re not feeling the weight of your struggles.
You know that whole “Put-Your-Hair-Up-And-Get-Things-Done” attitude? Snap a cute pic and broadcast how well you’re doing, all while keeping it together for the kids or jumping back into the dating scene! We all understand that we’ll eventually come out of tough situations and that time can heal wounds. But what about the waiting? That’s the tough part.
We live in a society that encourages us to simply “walk it off,” where self-help books preach about washing your face to feel better. This mentality makes us bury our sadness and anxiety deeper inside, twisting and turning until they cry out for acknowledgment. We convince ourselves that we’re fine, believing new clothes or a fresh mindset will sweep the negative emotions away.
I bought into that for a while, thinking that if I acted as if everything was fine, my feelings would wash away with my skincare routine. But that’s not how it actually works, and we all know it.
There are days when I drive around with sad songs playing, tears streaming down my face. There are nights when I retreat to bed early because I just can’t cope with another minute of the day. Text messages go unanswered, my legs are unshaven, and laundry piles up while I stare out the window.
I refuse to spend my life ignoring my emotions. When I’m feeling great, I act on that energy: I do my nails, hit the gym, dance like nobody’s watching, and even tackle home projects. But when I’m down, the last thing I want to do is jump into action; all I want is to curl up in a corner with some snacks.
Why is it that when we feel sad, we push ourselves to be that high-energy person who tackles everything? Honestly, embracing my “sad girl” side has been transformative. Why? Because when I allow myself to feel emotions like sadness or anxiety, I bounce back much quicker than if I force myself to be someone I’m not.
I find my energy returns faster. I sleep better. I forgive myself—and others—more easily. The “old me” starts to resurface when I give myself permission to feel and engage in “sad girl” activities.
Just the other day, I cried during my drive to the grocery store. When I arrived, I simply couldn’t muster the strength to get out of the car. There was no obvious reason for my mood; I was just feeling low. Instead of forcing myself to go inside, I swung by my favorite fast-food spot for a soda and called my best friend, chatting for over an hour. Afterward, I felt ready to tackle my shopping.
In the past, I would have barged into the store, dismissing my feelings as silly and coming out irritable, which would have affected my kids. This time, I chose to address my feelings rather than ignore them, avoiding what could have been a rough day.
I’m not saying we should always surrender to our feelings, especially when a little fresh air or some mascara could lift our spirits. But we know when forcing ourselves won’t help and will only drain us further.
Let’s normalize that “hot girl” moments are just a sliver of our lives. Everyone experiences their own “sad girl” moments, whether they admit it or not. We all have off days. Trust me, I’m much happier now that I allow myself to process my emotions instead of masking them with a smile.
For more insights on navigating emotional challenges, check out this blog post. Additionally, Cryobaby offers excellent resources for home insemination, as does American Pregnancy, an invaluable source for pregnancy and insemination information.