55 Inspiring Quotes from Ted Lasso That Shine Bright Like “Be A Goldfish”

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If you’re a fan of heartwarming comedies, then you can’t miss Apple TV+’s Ted Lasso. This delightful series features Jason Sudeikis as Ted Lasso, a lovable, optimistic football coach from the U.S. who is unexpectedly hired to lead a British soccer team, despite having no prior experience in the sport. The show is packed with both hilarious and touching moments, showcasing a wealth of insightful and earnest quotes from Ted himself.

Since its debut, Ted Lasso has captured audiences’ hearts and garnered multiple awards, including a Golden Globe for Sudeikis. Its uplifting themes and witty dialogue made it a must-watch during challenging times, providing a bright spot in many people’s lives. If you’re already a fan or just getting started, here are some of Ted’s most memorable lines to inspire you.

Favorite Ted Lasso Quotes

  1. “Taking on a challenge is much like riding a horse. If you’re too comfy, you might be doing it wrong.”
  2. “If we bump into each other in our dreams, let’s have some fun and pretend we don’t know each other.”
  3. “Gentlemen, I could watch your North Korean military routine all day, but I need a favor.”
  4. “In locker rooms, I prefer them like my mom’s bathing suits—only want to see them in one piece.”
  5. Walton: “How do you take your tea?” Ted: “Usually right back to the counter since there’s been a mix-up.”
  6. Walton: “Do you believe in ghosts?” Ted: “Absolutely, but more importantly, they need to believe in themselves.”
  7. “I always thought tea would taste like hot brown water. Turns out, I was right. It’s awful, no thanks.”
  8. “Even Woody and Buzz had their disagreements.”
  9. “Beating yourself up is like Woody Allen playing the clarinet. I’d rather not hear it.”
  10. “Don’t waste the wisdom that comes with age.”
  11. “Change can be intimidating. One moment you’re playing freeze tag, next you’re dealing with zits and awkward moments.”
  12. “That’s what life is about—embracing change.”
  13. “If one more person confuses me, I’m throwing a classic tantrum. You know, calling names like ‘dummy head’ or ‘poo-poo face’.”
  14. “Tea and I are on a long-term break.”
  15. “There’s something worse than being sad—being sad and alone. No one here is alone.”
  16. “Remember, your body is like day-old rice; if it’s not warmed up right, something bad could happen.”
  17. “If God wanted games to end in ties, there wouldn’t be numbers.”
  18. “You gonna give me the cold shoulder? That’s a combo! Does it come with a medium drink?”
  19. “I believe in hope. I believe in Believe.”
  20. “Smells like potential.”
  21. “A smurf with an attitude would be a blast to watch.”
  22. “Sounds like someone’s stuck in a complex love triangle. Second hardest is the ‘I walked in on my mother-in-law changing’ situation.”
  23. “You tore your butt? No shame in that.”
  24. “Knock-a-doodle-doo!”
  25. “Early drinking leads to quick drunkenness.”
  26. “If you care for someone and have love in your heart, there’s nothing you can’t face together.”
  27. “Roy, I learned two lessons on the playground: never take candy from Ronnie Fouch and telling a bully not to pick on someone just makes it worse.”
  28. “I understand more about who killed Kennedy than what offside means. (Pause) It was the mob.”
  29. “If you had told me I’d be drinking tea at three every day… I would have punched you.”
  30. “To be a Premier League team, you need three things: physical play, 100% effort, and a Middle-Eastern airline sponsor.”
  31. “How many countries are in this country?”
  32. “Be curious, not judgmental.”
  33. “The happiest animal on Earth is a goldfish. Got a ten-second memory. Be a goldfish, Sam.”
  34. Jamie Tartt: “Coach, I’m me. Why would I want to be anyone else?” Ted: “That’s actually quite psychologically healthy.”
  35. “Taking on a challenge is like riding a horse. If you’re comfortable, you might be doing it wrong.”
  36. “This woman is strong, confident, and powerful. I’d pay to see you arm wrestle Michelle Obama!”
  37. Coach Beard: “Why are you winding him up?” Ted: “He’s the key. If we’re to make a difference, the first domino has to fall in his heart.”
  38. “Success isn’t just wins and losses; it’s about helping these young men become their best selves on and off the pitch.”
  39. “I admire those who become rich by giving back, not just because of family ties.”
  40. “Little girls are wonderfully mysterious and powerful. I stopped trying to figure them out long ago.”
  41. “I value each of your opinions, even when they’re wrong.”
  42. “Our goal? To go out like Willie Nelson—on a high!”
  43. “In locker rooms, I prefer them like my mom’s bathing suits—only want to see them in one piece.”
  44. “I’m eager to learn what relegation means.”
  45. “Ties and no playoffs? Why do you even play?”
  46. “Rob! You gotta get it in there for three points!”
  47. “Explain to me how that was offside? Seriously! It makes no sense.”
  48. “This right here? That’s a scone. Tastes like a muffin, but it sucks all the moisture out of your mouth.”
  49. “I struggle to hear those who don’t believe in themselves.”
  50. “Coincidences can be funny that way. Sometimes they just happen.”
  51. “Coach, I feel like we’re not in Kansas anymore.”
  52. “If that’s a joke, I love it. If not, I’m looking forward to unpacking that later.”
  53. “You could fill two internets with what I don’t know about football.”
  54. “I never know how to respond when a grown man beatboxes in front of me.”
  55. “As someone once said, the harder you work, the luckier you get.”

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In summary, Ted Lasso provides a wealth of heartfelt wisdom and humor that resonates with viewers. From embracing change to believing in oneself, Ted’s quotes inspire us to navigate life’s challenges with optimism and joy.

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