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If you’re a fan of heartwarming comedies, then you can’t miss Apple TV+’s Ted Lasso. This delightful series features Jason Sudeikis as Ted Lasso, a lovable, optimistic football coach from the U.S. who is unexpectedly hired to lead a British soccer team, despite having no prior experience in the sport. The show is packed with both hilarious and touching moments, showcasing a wealth of insightful and earnest quotes from Ted himself.
Since its debut, Ted Lasso has captured audiences’ hearts and garnered multiple awards, including a Golden Globe for Sudeikis. Its uplifting themes and witty dialogue made it a must-watch during challenging times, providing a bright spot in many people’s lives. If you’re already a fan or just getting started, here are some of Ted’s most memorable lines to inspire you.
Favorite Ted Lasso Quotes
- “Taking on a challenge is much like riding a horse. If you’re too comfy, you might be doing it wrong.”
- “If we bump into each other in our dreams, let’s have some fun and pretend we don’t know each other.”
- “Gentlemen, I could watch your North Korean military routine all day, but I need a favor.”
- “In locker rooms, I prefer them like my mom’s bathing suits—only want to see them in one piece.”
- Walton: “How do you take your tea?” Ted: “Usually right back to the counter since there’s been a mix-up.”
- Walton: “Do you believe in ghosts?” Ted: “Absolutely, but more importantly, they need to believe in themselves.”
- “I always thought tea would taste like hot brown water. Turns out, I was right. It’s awful, no thanks.”
- “Even Woody and Buzz had their disagreements.”
- “Beating yourself up is like Woody Allen playing the clarinet. I’d rather not hear it.”
- “Don’t waste the wisdom that comes with age.”
- “Change can be intimidating. One moment you’re playing freeze tag, next you’re dealing with zits and awkward moments.”
- “That’s what life is about—embracing change.”
- “If one more person confuses me, I’m throwing a classic tantrum. You know, calling names like ‘dummy head’ or ‘poo-poo face’.”
- “Tea and I are on a long-term break.”
- “There’s something worse than being sad—being sad and alone. No one here is alone.”
- “Remember, your body is like day-old rice; if it’s not warmed up right, something bad could happen.”
- “If God wanted games to end in ties, there wouldn’t be numbers.”
- “You gonna give me the cold shoulder? That’s a combo! Does it come with a medium drink?”
- “I believe in hope. I believe in Believe.”
- “Smells like potential.”
- “A smurf with an attitude would be a blast to watch.”
- “Sounds like someone’s stuck in a complex love triangle. Second hardest is the ‘I walked in on my mother-in-law changing’ situation.”
- “You tore your butt? No shame in that.”
- “Knock-a-doodle-doo!”
- “Early drinking leads to quick drunkenness.”
- “If you care for someone and have love in your heart, there’s nothing you can’t face together.”
- “Roy, I learned two lessons on the playground: never take candy from Ronnie Fouch and telling a bully not to pick on someone just makes it worse.”
- “I understand more about who killed Kennedy than what offside means. (Pause) It was the mob.”
- “If you had told me I’d be drinking tea at three every day… I would have punched you.”
- “To be a Premier League team, you need three things: physical play, 100% effort, and a Middle-Eastern airline sponsor.”
- “How many countries are in this country?”
- “Be curious, not judgmental.”
- “The happiest animal on Earth is a goldfish. Got a ten-second memory. Be a goldfish, Sam.”
- Jamie Tartt: “Coach, I’m me. Why would I want to be anyone else?” Ted: “That’s actually quite psychologically healthy.”
- “Taking on a challenge is like riding a horse. If you’re comfortable, you might be doing it wrong.”
- “This woman is strong, confident, and powerful. I’d pay to see you arm wrestle Michelle Obama!”
- Coach Beard: “Why are you winding him up?” Ted: “He’s the key. If we’re to make a difference, the first domino has to fall in his heart.”
- “Success isn’t just wins and losses; it’s about helping these young men become their best selves on and off the pitch.”
- “I admire those who become rich by giving back, not just because of family ties.”
- “Little girls are wonderfully mysterious and powerful. I stopped trying to figure them out long ago.”
- “I value each of your opinions, even when they’re wrong.”
- “Our goal? To go out like Willie Nelson—on a high!”
- “In locker rooms, I prefer them like my mom’s bathing suits—only want to see them in one piece.”
- “I’m eager to learn what relegation means.”
- “Ties and no playoffs? Why do you even play?”
- “Rob! You gotta get it in there for three points!”
- “Explain to me how that was offside? Seriously! It makes no sense.”
- “This right here? That’s a scone. Tastes like a muffin, but it sucks all the moisture out of your mouth.”
- “I struggle to hear those who don’t believe in themselves.”
- “Coincidences can be funny that way. Sometimes they just happen.”
- “Coach, I feel like we’re not in Kansas anymore.”
- “If that’s a joke, I love it. If not, I’m looking forward to unpacking that later.”
- “You could fill two internets with what I don’t know about football.”
- “I never know how to respond when a grown man beatboxes in front of me.”
- “As someone once said, the harder you work, the luckier you get.”
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In summary, Ted Lasso provides a wealth of heartfelt wisdom and humor that resonates with viewers. From embracing change to believing in oneself, Ted’s quotes inspire us to navigate life’s challenges with optimism and joy.
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