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My daughter took her time with potty training, which left me feeling quite embarrassed. As her fourth birthday approached, I found myself worrying about what others thought since she was still wearing full-time Pull-Ups. We were far from being finished; in fact, we hadn’t even started! She outright refused to step foot near a restroom, and both the regular toilet and the adorable little penguin potty I bought sat unused. It turned into a battle of wills, and she was standing her ground.
We tried every kind of underwear you could think of—ones with her favorite characters, cute pink ones with rainbows and unicorns, and even sensory-friendly microfiber. Each new pair came with a half-hearted promise of success when we got home, but nothing changed.
Eventually, I hit a wall of frustration. I had read all the parenting guides, searched online for tips, and consulted various mom groups. Nothing seemed to work until one day, my husband decided to take matters into his own hands. He sat her on the potty, handed her an iPad and big headphones, and encouraged her to give it a try. I chuckled, remembering all the failed attempts I’d made over two years. She cried, protested, and stood up, but somehow, he managed to get her to sit back down. Suddenly, I heard the sound of drops hitting the toilet. She was finally going, albeit while crying and overwhelmed with emotion. But we cheered her on, and to my surprise, she smiled and said, “That wasn’t scary at all.”
It turned out that fear of the unknown was what had held her back. This wasn’t a one-time miracle, though; it took a few days of this routine. She would go for my husband or my mother but not for me. When I asked her why, she responded, “They’re nice to me.” That hit hard. My frustration had made her feel that I was being harsh. Realizing this, I changed my approach. The next time she needed to go, I calmly took her in, and it worked! I shed tears of joy and hugged her tightly. We had turned a corner.
It took a little longer for her to fully grasp it, but she eventually did! Now, she hasn’t worn a Pull-Up at night and has never wet the bed. I am incredibly proud of her. Throughout this journey, I learned valuable lessons that I wish I had known sooner. Here are five tips that could save you from tears and countless laundry loads:
1. Avoid Forcing It
It’s incredibly frustrating, but your child will only potty train when they are ready. Forcing them to do something they’re not comfortable with is ineffective. Remember, every child is on their own timeline. It might take until age three, four, or even five before they feel ready. Accepting this can ease some of the pressure.
2. Exercise Patience
While it may be tough, being patient is key to achieving faster results. Block out a weekend to dedicate time to this process. Prepare for long hours on the bathroom floor while engaging in various activities to keep your child entertained. If you remain calm and patient, potty training will be a more enjoyable experience for both of you.
3. Stay Calm and Avoid Threats
If you feel overwhelmed, take a moment for yourself to breathe. Yelling or scolding won’t motivate your child; instead, it may create resentment towards both you and the potty. Rather than punishing them, consider offering rewards like choosing new underwear or picking a movie to watch later. This way, the potty experience becomes something positive rather than negative.
4. The Naked Method Isn’t Always Effective
Many swear by the naked method, believing it helps children recognize when they need to go. However, it may not work for everyone. If your child ends up making a mess, don’t see it as a failure. You can always try using underpants next time; they might provide better motivation.
5. Praise and Positive Reinforcement
Kids thrive on encouragement. Keep the praise flowing and consider small rewards like stickers or treats. More importantly, give them hugs and smiles when they succeed. When your child feels your pride, it will motivate them even further.
Potty training can be a challenging phase for both parents and kids. Remember, you are asking them to do something entirely new and potentially intimidating. The more relaxed and cheerful you are, the better the experience will be for both of you. Accidents will happen, and it might not go smoothly right away.
If your child is a late potty trainer, it’s perfectly normal. You’re not failing as a parent, and there’s nothing wrong with your child. Some kids simply take longer to adjust, and that’s okay. Take a deep breath—you will get through this!
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