Lobster Puns and Jokes That Will Have You Cracking Up!

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If you’ve ever visited a seafood restaurant, you might have had the chance to select your own lobster from a tank. It seems like a fun idea, especially with how it’s portrayed on TV! However, you probably discovered that not all lobsters are created equal. Typically, they’re sold by weight. If you picked a hefty one, you likely enjoyed a luxurious meal, albeit a pricey one. On the other hand, if you chose a smaller lobster, you may have found yourself hungry again shortly after. At least if you were at a place like Red Lobster, you could indulge in a mountain of cheddar biscuits to fill the void! While these dinner mishaps may not have seemed amusing at the time, we’re here to turn that frown upside down with some lobster-themed puns and jokes.

Lobster puns and jokes are sure to entertain anyone who appreciates these fascinating marine creatures. Let’s take a moment to appreciate those lobster tanks at the grocery store for making them seem a little less intimidating! Although, to be honest, encountering one at the beach can be a bit frightening, especially considering their claws and that peculiar habit of urinating from their faces. Yes, it’s true! It almost sounds like the punchline to a joke itself.

Now, let’s dive into some hilarious lobster puns and jokes to share at your next seaside feast!

Lobster Puns:

Lobsters love their morning clawfee served hot.
When answering the phone, a lobster says, “Shello?”
Lobsters enjoy celebrating holidays because it’s ‘tis the sea-son!
One lobster was emotional because his teacher called him a lost claws.
The school subject that the lobster struggled with was algae-bra.
A lobster left home because of pier pressure.
A lady lobster wears seashells because she’s outgrown her B-shells.
The lobster asked his friend, the catfish, “Who is your cod-father?”
Someone drove through Portland searching for lobster but couldn’t find any—it’s upsetting, as lobster is meant to be a Maine attraction.
The lobster lost its fortune because it was shelling out too much money.
Lobsters make horrible friends since they’re incredibly shellfish.
A lobster reported a crime to the police, but they asked him to be more Pacific.
A lobster was considering proposing, and his best friend asked if he was shore about it.
At a lobster wedding, the groom referred to his partner as his “butter half.”
The lobster announced he was diving into boiling water, and everyone thought he was cray-sea.
At a farewell party, one lobster told another he was one shell of a guy.
The lobster said retiring would be tough since he was tide to his job.
She lost her job because she was late every day.
After an argument, the lobster apologized, claiming he was just salty.
The crustacean playing tennis was a total lob-star.
A lobster’s signature move is the lob.
If you cross a lobster with a telephone, you’ll end up with snappy talk.
Expecting an important call, the lobster crabbed the phone.
The ocean said nothing to the lobster—it just waved!
The lobster blushed because of the sea weed!

Lobster Jokes:

I dined at Mary Poppins’ Restaurant last night… Super cauliflower cheese, but the lobster was atrocious.
Why don’t lobsters like to share? Because they are shellfish.
What do you call a lobster afraid of tight spaces? Claws-trophobic.
What do you call a tired and overworked lobster? A frustracean.
I asked the waiter at a seafood restaurant how they prepared the lobster, and he simply said, “We just tell him the truth, man. ‘This is the end of the line.’”
A man saw a sign for “Lobster Tails, $5” and thought it was a steal. He handed the vendor $5 expecting a tail, but the vendor said, “Once upon a time, there was this lobster…”
Did you hear about the brawl at Red Lobster? Four fish were battered!
Who delivers gifts to good lobsters on Christmas? Santa Claws.
How much salt do lobsters use when cooking pasta? Just a pinch.
Where do lobsters work at the bread factory? At the crust station.
One lobster took another out on a date and offered to pay for dinner, making the female lobster blush. “It’s be-claws I love you,” he said.
How do lobsters travel around the beach? By shell-i-copter.
What do you call a famous lobster? A shellebrity.
Where do crabs and lobsters park their vehicles? At the bustacean.
Why did the lobster visit the physical therapist? It pulled a mussel.
A man ordered lobster for dinner and complained when it arrived with only one claw. The waiter explained, “That lobster was in a fight.” “Alright then,” the man said. “Bring me the winner!”
Why couldn’t the woman eat shrimp, lobsters, and clams cooked with steam? She has shellfish steam issues.
What do you call a crab that throws things? A lobster.
Where does a lobster keep its clothes? In the clawset.
Why was the ocean screaming? You would too if you had lobsters on your bottom!
Did you hear about the lobster that rode a sea mammal into battle? He did it on porpoise.
Where are there no hipster lobsters? In the Maine stream.
Where do lobsters go when they need a loan? To the prawn brokers.
What’s the best name for a pet lobster? Clawde.
Did you hear about the big fight between the blue and red lobsters? The other lobsters said it was like a sea-n from a movie.
What’s worse than lobsters on your piano? Crabs on your organ.
Where do lobsters wait for the bus? At the bustacean.

This piece originally appeared on April 5, 2021.

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Summary:

This article is a lighthearted collection of lobster puns and jokes designed to entertain seafood lovers. From clever wordplay to amusing scenarios, these quips are perfect for sharing at your next lobster feast.

Keyphrase: lobster puns and jokes

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