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“Waiting for the Host to Start the Meeting.”
As I sat in front of a Zoom window displaying “Domestic Relations Court,” I found myself on the brink of a new chapter. On the other side of the screen awaited a judge I had never met, two attorneys I had only interacted with virtually, and the man who had been my husband for a decade, now feeling like a stranger.
In that moment, waiting for my turn in the virtual courtroom of Cook County, Illinois, I couldn’t help but reflect on the stark contrast and unexpected similarities between the day I tied the knot in a quaint chapel in Greensboro, North Carolina, and this day of dissolution taking place on a computer screen in Chicago. Both occasions were monumental and loaded with emotion, yet they were presented in drastically different ways.
On my wedding day, I was filled with excitement, my father beside me as we awaited the ceremony. Nearly two hundred family and friends had gathered to celebrate, stealing glances as I stood in my stunning Monique L’Huillier gown. My husband-to-be, with his charming grin and sparkling eyes, watched me from the altar.
I often wonder if the 30-year-old version of myself would have believed that the grandeur of that moment would lead to a decade of ups and downs and three daughters, only to culminate in a half-hour Zoom call. In my hand, I clutched the same rosary that adorned my wildflower bouquet, a cherished item from Lebanon that had been blessed by a priest. As I nervously wrapped the beads around my palms, I was about to face a judge, our lawyers, and the man whose status as my legal spouse would soon end.
Divorce is not something most people picture, but if you do, you might envision a solemn courtroom and a judge presiding over the proceedings. I was grateful to skip the courtroom formality for the comfort of my own space. My loving parents were nearby, watching “Sophia” with my two-year-old, supporting me just as they had celebrated my marriage.
The judge, though a stranger, commanded respect and authority, reminding me of the priest who married us. My lawyers kept emphasizing that only the judge could enforce any decisions regarding our divorce. She was unaware of the ten years of history that led to this moment, yet she held the power to sever our ties.
As the formalities began, I was asked to raise my right hand and swear an oath. Glancing at a cheap plaque on my desk that read “This Girl Can,” a motivational piece for my daughter, I realized I needed that reminder now more than ever.
My soon-to-be ex-husband, the plaintiff, affirmed a series of statements with an “I do,” including the acknowledgment of irreconcilable differences. I was relieved that my response only required a single “I do,” but it still felt harsh.
As the proceedings continued, my lawyer’s face took over the screen, reminding me of the lineup of attendants at my wedding; both arrangements felt oddly similar, yet somber. She asked if I was satisfied with my husband’s testimony and understood the terms of the settlement.
After some more formalities, my lawyer triumphantly announced that I could reclaim my maiden name. The judge then offered her best wishes with a weak smile, and one by one, the participants began to leave the screen, leaving only darkness behind.
“The meeting has been ended by the host.”
After exchanging rings at my wedding, I had felt like someone’s wife, yet here I was, now someone’s ex-wife without feeling much different. Perhaps a little more jaded, with pieces to pick up, but ultimately still me. I found solace in the saying, “The more things change, the more they stay the same.”
The laughter from the next room pulled me back to reality. “Sophia” had ended. I took a deep breath and smiled at the irony of it all—an old rosary in hand, new tech on my desk, and a borrowed sign from my daughter. Maybe this new chapter would bring better luck after all. After all, I had something old, something new, something borrowed, something… Zoomed?
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In summary, navigating the end of a marriage via a virtual platform presents a unique juxtaposition of personal reflection and legal formalities. My experience serves as a reminder of love’s complexities and the resilience necessary to embrace new beginnings.
Keyphrase: Zoom Divorce Experience
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