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My Advantages Keep Me Going

by Jessica Lane

Updated: April 4, 2021

Originally Published: April 4, 2021

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Recently, I experienced a significant episode related to my mental health. As it often happens, my mind started to unravel gradually. It began with excessive arguments on Facebook, which escalated to disagreements in person. An overwhelming sense of dread settled in, accompanied by intense anxiety. When the thought of using my medication as an entire bottle seemed more appealing than as prescribed doses, I reached out to my partner and my therapist, pleading for an urgent appointment. Clearly, I needed help.

My partner chatted with me, pretending he was in between classes. He kept the conversation going until we reached our home. He understood that if he admitted he was coming home from his job as a teacher, I would likely resist, so he aimed to keep me engaged in conversation rather than fixate on those pills. What followed would have been impossible without a considerable amount of financial means and privilege.

Mental Health Care and Privilege

The fact that my partner could leave work was a clear indication of our privilege. He has supportive colleagues who are aware of my mental health challenges. They’ve allowed him to leave early before, such as when he skipped his last block to accompany me to a psychiatrist appointment nearby. More than once, they’ve encouraged him to leave early during my crises. They understand that I rely on his support for my mental health.

That day, he stayed home with our children (yet another sign of privilege: he was able to leave work) while I drove to see my psychiatrist. She is the most qualified in our state, having previously led our state’s Board of Psychiatry. Due to my multiple overlapping conditions, I require a highly experienced professional. However, my mental health care is not inexpensive. My doctor does not accept insurance, which means we pay out of pocket at over $150 for a typical half-hour session.

That’s $150 I hadn’t anticipated needing that morning. Plus, there was another $10 for new medication. While it might not seem like much, we already spend over $100 monthly (even with insurance) on my psychiatric medications.

The privilege kept rolling in. My partner took several days off work. Although he wasn’t penalized for this time away, he wasn’t paid because he had already used up his sick days. This cut his paycheck significantly, but we managed. Prioritizing my mental health was essential. I couldn’t be alone, and during the pandemic, we couldn’t rely on friends to help.

I had a partner who could leave work and take time off; a psychiatrist who could see me right away; the financial means to pay for therapy and medication; and a partner who could support our children’s education while I took care of my mental health. Additionally, my own employers did not penalize me for needing a week off on short notice. My mental health care was the epitome of privilege.

Grateful for Insurance

The Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) mandates mental health parity, ensuring that insurance must provide equal coverage for mental health services, including prescriptions. Some medications are pricier than others; for instance, my ADHD medication isn’t available in a generic form and costs nearly fifty dollars monthly.

Yet, having insurance is a privilege in the U.S. According to the Kaiser Family Foundation, the number of uninsured individuals climbed to 28.9 million from 2018 to 2019, not including uninsured seniors. That’s about ten percent of the population. I’m fortunate that my insurance includes decent prescription drug coverage. I dread to think of the costs I would face without such coverage, as most of my medications only require a nine-dollar copay.

Support from My Partner

There are no concrete statistics on how many employers would allow their employees to leave because of their spouse’s mental health crisis, but I suspect the number is low. My partner works a white-collar job, which likely affords us more understanding from his employers. He wasn’t penalized for needing time off; they willingly granted him the time.

We managed to cope with the reduction in his paycheck. It wasn’t easy, but we did it. The financial impact was significant, reducing our main income by about 5%. We hadn’t planned for this, nor could we foresee it. But my mental health care was too crucial to overlook.

The Importance of Mental Health Care

Without treatment, I could be in a very different situation. I could downplay it, but I have bipolar disorder type 2, anxiety, depression, and ADHD. Data suggests that 25-50% of individuals with bipolar disorder attempt suicide at some point, with 11% ultimately succeeding. Over time, the mortality rate associated with my condition is alarmingly high.

Research indicates that low income is a strong risk factor for suicide. It’s not merely that “poor people are stressed,” but rather that those with limited finances are less likely to have insurance, access to quality mental health care, or a support system that can afford to take time off when necessary.

I have recovered and returned to work, but my breakdown could have ended very differently without my privileges. They provide not only a safety net but also access to essential care.

My privileges keep me alive, yet many others are not as fortunate.

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In summary, while I have the privilege of access to mental health care, many others do not share the same fortune. The disparities in mental health support highlight the critical importance of privilege in navigating crises.

Keyphrase: My Privilege Keeps Me Alive

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