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A few years ago, during a Thanksgiving gathering before I came out as gay at 39, I found myself outside on a relative’s patio with a couple of cousins, waiting for the turkey to finish cooking. I was mostly silent, listening as one cousin brought up another who had come out as gay years earlier. That cousin was there with his boyfriend, whom some family members insisted on calling his “friend” out of politeness.
One cousin asked another if he would attend our gay cousin’s potential wedding. The response was a sneer followed by a curt “No,” enhanced with a derisive snort. When pressed for a reason, he declared, “Because I believe that God intended for men and women to be together, and homosexuality is a sin.”
As I listened, my heart raced and my skin flushed. Did he even realize he was speaking about me? Would it matter if he did? I clenched my jaw and said nothing. My other cousin challenged him, questioning why he cared about how people choose to love. She argued that there was nothing wrong with it and that his views were skewed.
In hindsight, I deeply regret not speaking up. I wish I had not only voiced my feelings but also removed myself from that environment entirely. I know enough about his life to recognize the hypocrisy in his comments about “sin.” It infuriates me that I sat there, filled with rage and trembling, yet remained silent.
At that time, no one knew I was gay. I should have defended my cousin, who faced an environment where his relationship couldn’t even be acknowledged. This is simply unacceptable, and I refuse to remain quiet. I will teach my children to do the same.
The Danger of Silence
Silence allows bigotry to thrive. It creates a void where we fail to challenge harmful beliefs. Our silence is not just passive; it is a form of complicity. Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. expressed his frustration with the indifferent moderate in his “Letter from a Birmingham Jail.” He stated that the greatest obstacle to freedom for marginalized groups is not the outright bigots but those who prioritize “order” over justice.
Dr. King’s message resonates with all marginalized communities. When those who claim to care stand by in silence, they let injustice persist. We cannot prioritize our comfort over the safety and dignity of others. The only peace we achieve through silence is our own, while marginalized individuals continue to suffer.
We must speak out, and we must instill this value in our children. I am teaching my son to speak up when he hears problematic comments about women. It’s not enough for a few boys to voice their concerns; we must raise the bar for all.
A viral TikTok clip featured comedian Daniel Sloss, who highlighted how inaction can lead to grave consequences. He discussed the danger of believing that if you’re not part of the problem, you must be part of the solution. This mentality promotes a false sense of peace—one that fails to address the real issues faced by marginalized groups.
If you belong to a group and witness harmful behavior but stay silent, you are complicit. Whether you’re a Christian ignoring homophobia, a police officer overlooking racism, or a thin person allowing fatphobia to go unchallenged, your silence contributes to the problem.
Advocacy Beyond Personal Circles
While it’s crucial to speak up within our personal circles, it’s equally important to advocate for systemic change. Support representatives who recognize issues of marginalization and have concrete plans for reform. Engage in the political process by donating your time to campaigns, contacting your local officials, or attending community meetings.
Let your children see you in action. Share your efforts with them, whether you’re discussing emails or making phone calls. If we aim to create a safer, more equitable world for future generations, we cannot choose our own comfort at the expense of others. We must engage in both individual and systemic advocacy to avoid complicity.
If we want change, we need to act.
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Summary:
The importance of speaking out against bigotry and injustice cannot be overstated. Silence only fuels prejudice and allows harmful beliefs to persist. It is vital to challenge discriminatory remarks and instill this value in our children. Advocacy must extend beyond personal circles to include systemic change, ensuring a safer and more equitable world for future generations.
Keyphrase: Speak Up Against Bigotry
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