How Quitting Alcohol Transformed Our Marriage

Ten years into my journey as a recovering alcoholic, my husband made a significant decision: he quietly had his last bourbon without my knowledge, a choice I wouldn’t discover for two weeks. When we went out to one of our favorite restaurants, he opted for water instead of wine, and I was taken aback. He told me it was time for a change.

This decision has profoundly strengthened our relationship. Without alcohol in the mix, we have become a much better team.

In the early days of our relationship, drinking was the focal point of our connection. After work, we would meet for drinks, spend hours on his patio with beers, and enjoy dinners accompanied by glasses of wine. I often wondered if we had any common interests beyond our shared love for Budweiser. We came from different backgrounds—he was six years older and had a college life while I was still in school. Our hobbies and tastes were mismatched; he loved sports while I preferred celebrity gossip. Yet, we pushed forward.

Once married, our drinking escalated into a nightly routine. I began to notice my drinking habits spiraling out of control, often showing up to work with a hangover. I was consuming beers several nights a week, which took a toll on my well-being.

When I became pregnant, I abstained for nine months but returned to drinking shortly after my son’s birth. Then, just a few months after he turned one, I found out I was pregnant again. That was my turning point, and I haven’t touched alcohol since. I went on to have four children, and I take pride in the fact that I haven’t consumed alcohol during three of their lives.

My husband, however, continued to drink, though his habits differed from mine. He wasn’t aiming to get drunk but rather had developed a routine: a beer upon arriving home, a glass of wine with dinner, and more while unwinding. But he was often drinking alone, which became a source of conflict. I began to resent his relationship with alcohol, and as tensions rose, we started to drift apart. Our evenings split into separate routines—me upstairs with the kids, him downstairs with his drink and the TV.

We found ourselves living more like roommates than a married couple. Nights out ended in arguments, and I grew frustrated playing the designated driver while he indulged in expensive drinks. My anger mounted as I saw it as a waste of money, leading to more conflicts that would often end with one of us sleeping on the couch.

There wasn’t a dramatic incident that prompted my husband to stop drinking; he simply made the decision on his own. He understood that our family deserved the best version of him, and he committed to that change.

Now, nearly two years into our sobriety, our lives have improved immensely. While we still argue, our disagreements focus less on tearing each other down and more on addressing real issues. We no longer blame alcohol for our problems; we confront them head-on. Our interactions with our children are also more positive and less influenced by hangovers. We can now focus on family activities rather than drinking.

I want to clarify that we don’t have issues with people who drink; we just have a drinking problem ourselves. We can host parties and serve drinks without temptation. I worry about our children’s relationship with alcohol, knowing that addiction runs in our families. I hope they will consider our experiences when making their own choices about drinking.

I feel grateful that we chose to prioritize our relationship over alcohol. I love my husband more deeply without the influence of booze, and we often raise a toast to our marriage—though I’ll be raising a Diet Coke, and he’ll have an Irish coffee without the Bailey’s. And that’s just perfect for us.

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Summary:

In this article, Jenna shares her experience of how quitting alcohol saved her marriage. After her husband made the decision to stop drinking, their relationship improved significantly, allowing them to face their challenges together. They now enjoy a healthier family life without the complications that alcohol brought into their lives, emphasizing the importance of addressing real issues without the influence of substances.

Keyphrase: “quitting alcohol saved our marriage”

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