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A decade ago, I faced my second miscarriage, although it wasn’t my last. Over the years, the sharpness of that grief has dulled, yet it remains an indelible part of my life.
For many mothers who endure such losses, it’s undeniably a process of grieving. However, the experience of grief varies greatly from person to person, and even from one miscarriage to another. After experiencing pregnancy loss three times, each encounter felt distinct. My first loss—a very early miscarriage, sometimes referred to as a chemical pregnancy—caught me off guard. I grappled with feelings of confusion rather than intense sorrow, as I had lost something I hadn’t fully recognized as mine.
My second miscarriage was markedly different; it involved multiple medical appointments, weeks of hope for a positive outcome, and ultimately a D&C procedure after my doctor indicated that waiting for the miscarriage to occur naturally could lead to severe blood loss and a hospital visit. This time, my grief was profound, but I kept it to myself. As a stay-at-home mom, I wasn’t required to disclose my loss to coworkers or supervisors. Yet, the weight of my sorrow often felt overwhelming. I coped by taking long walks with my dogs and toddler, diving into an array of self-help literature, and occasionally letting my son watch too much television.
What made the experience even more painful was the societal expectation to simply move on. Miscarriages are relatively common, so the pressure to “just get over it” loomed large. But the reality is, we shouldn’t have to simply brush it aside.
This is precisely why New Zealand’s recent miscarriage bereavement leave legislation is so crucial. It not only addresses the financial implications for families, which are significant, but also acknowledges the emotional toll of pregnancy loss.
“The bill will provide women and their partners the time needed to process their loss without needing to use sick leave. Their grief should not be classified as an illness; it is a genuine loss that requires time to heal,” stated Sarah Johnson, the legislator behind the initiative, in an interview with local media. “I hope this legislation helps highlight the importance of allowing individuals the space to cope with the profound grief associated with losing a pregnancy.”
I share this hope. It’s my aspiration that this law, along with the awareness it generates, will encourage not just lawmakers in the U.S., but also employers, to recognize the importance of bereavement leave for miscarriage. Mental health professionals are in agreement on this matter.
“This represents both a tangible and symbolic acknowledgment that miscarriage can be a serious bereavement for women and their partners,” said Mark Thompson, a psychotherapist based in New York. “I hope this inspires other regions to establish responses to this often overlooked experience.”
While we have made strides since the days when miscarriages and stillbirths were suffered in silence, there remains a stigma attached to discussing miscarriage openly, particularly in the workplace.
As someone who has been sharing my experiences online for years, I have tackled a myriad of topics, including my own miscarriages. Yet, I found myself hesitant when considering sharing this article on LinkedIn, a platform frequented by colleagues.
But why the hesitation? This topic certainly intersects with employment issues and speaks to the underlying challenges faced by women in their careers. The reluctance to publicly acknowledge my miscarriages—even those from years past—in a professional setting underscores the importance of laws like this one. Concealing these experiences only perpetuates the harm done to women, inhibiting them from being their authentic selves in the workplace.
Without recognition of the deep-seated impact of pregnancy loss, we risk sending the message that such losses are insignificant. Therefore, women bear this grief in silence, pressing on while concealing their pain. However, a thriving workplace should not demand that employees sacrifice a part of themselves. It should be a space where individuals can bring their whole selves—complete with their feelings, grief, and joy—allowing them to perform at their best.
New Zealand’s new law is impactful not just from an economic standpoint but at a more profound emotional level. It sends a powerful message to women and individuals who have been pregnant, saying, “We understand your pain. You are seen as a complete person, and we will support each other through this.”
This acknowledgment is not only powerful but absolutely necessary.
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Summary
New Zealand’s miscarriage bereavement leave legislation marks a significant step towards recognizing the emotional toll of pregnancy loss. It provides essential time for grieving parents without the stigma of using sick leave. This legislative change encourages a broader societal acceptance of miscarriage, allowing individuals to acknowledge their pain and heal openly. It is a crucial move towards fostering a workplace environment where emotional experiences are validated, enabling individuals to bring their authentic selves to work.
Keyphrase: New Zealand miscarriage bereavement law
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