Moms: The Pandemic’s Decision Makers and the Exhaustion That Follows

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My son wanted to attend a New Year’s Eve gathering with a couple of friends and his girlfriend. While managing this as a mother of a 17-year-old can be challenging—setting ground rules and all—the ongoing pandemic made it a bit easier for me to decline. Naturally, I became the “bad guy” because his friends’ parents were more lenient, wanting to let the kids “have some fun” after a tough year.

Sure, it’s been tough, Karen; I’ve been living through it too.

A few months later, when another friend turned 18 and his parents booked him a hotel room for a celebration, I found myself in the middle of it all again after saying “no.” The other moms started calling me. My son was furious, and his friends were bombarding me with texts, trying to persuade me that everything would be just fine.

When my son had an itchy throat and runny nose before Christmas, it was me who noticed and took him for a test. When my kids wanted to return to school after half a year of remote learning, they turned to me, pleading their case. Just last week, I lost my cool after my daughter received an invite to a slumber party, and I had to tell her she couldn’t go. I felt horrible—these kids have already endured so much—but a slumber party could quickly turn into a super spreader event, especially with teenagers involved. We all know how it goes—sneaking out, sneaking people in. Plus, if a parent is okay with hosting a sleepover, I question how cautious they really are about COVID safety.

My daughter seemed to understand my decision, but on the day of the party, the host’s father called me while I was trying to work to discuss my choice. He argued with me for ten minutes, insisting they were taking it seriously and wanted me to reconsider. He didn’t bother reaching out to my ex-husband; it was me who had to prioritize our family’s health yet again and bear the burden of being the “bad guy.”

This scenario is all too familiar for moms, even during non-pandemic times. I’ve always been the one to notice when my kids needed a doctor or dentist appointment before my ex-husband did. I made the appointments and got them there. I was the go-to for their social lives, always asking if they wanted to have friends over since I work from home and apparently run an Uber service on the side. When we run low on groceries, the kids know to ask me.

A year ago, every decision felt like a life-or-death situation, and it was up to us—moms—to accept or veto nearly every choice our families made. This has made the past year incredibly exhausting, and it’s no surprise we feel trapped in a no-win situation. The weight of responsibility can be overwhelming, and it’s unfair that we are often left to shoulder these decisions alone.

Some partners (and ex-partners) argue it’s because we’re “better at it,” but I call nonsense on that. Being the one who constantly worries, who has to deny our children their wishes, and who must evaluate the risks of outings—like a simple trip to the store for a missing item—can be paralyzing. No one wants to be in that position.

When these burdens fall on moms, our protective instincts kick in, and our kids may see us as fun-sponges trying to ruin their lives. Meanwhile, we lose sleep, our minds racing as we attempt to navigate this chaos. Because that’s what moms do. But the toll it takes is immense, and I’ve never experienced this kind of exhaustion in my life.

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Summary:

Moms have taken on the immense responsibility of decision-making during the pandemic, often dealing with the exhaustion that comes from being the primary caregivers. From navigating social engagements for their kids to prioritizing health and safety, the burden has intensified. This reality highlights the need for support and understanding in families as mothers navigate these challenging times.

Keyphrase: Pandemic Decision Makers
Tags: “home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”

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