I Was Constantly Exhausted—Then I Found the Power of ‘Single-Tasking’

I realized I had a problem when I started using meditation as a way to multitask. Encouraged by friends who rave about apps like Calm and Headspace, I decided to give meditation a try during the chaos of 2020, hoping it would help me find the “center” I had lost amidst the laundry piles, constant Zoom requests from my children, my own work commitments, and the relentless reminders from our cat that his food bowl was empty again. But as a soothing British voice guided me to breathe and let my mind wander, I caught myself simultaneously planning dinner, contemplating which Netflix show to binge next, and keeping an ear out for my kids to ensure no one was fighting or hurt. By the time the session ended, I had ticked “meditate” off my mental checklist but felt no more centered than before.

It’s a well-known notion that mothers are perpetually tired. And I truly was—often tired but happy, sometimes tired and stressed, and occasionally tired and frustrated. Yet tiredness was my constant companion. When you have a baby, the fatigue can be attributed to sleepless nights, but my children are now good sleepers, out of diapers, and capable of managing many tasks independently. The level of exhaustion I felt each evening didn’t match my situation.

Then it dawned on me: perhaps my perpetual tiredness stemmed from my habit of multitasking. Much of the time, my body was occupied with one task while my mind juggled another. Even when both aligned—like when I checked emails—I was rapidly switching between messages from work, my kids’ school, friends, and even persistent political organizations. It’s no surprise I felt drained by 6 PM.

Recently, I decided to make a change by embracing the concept of “single-tasking.” This approach involves focusing on one task at a time until it’s complete—a method you might recall from before parenthood. For instance, when I sat down to answer work emails, I only opened those emails and ignored all other distractions. More importantly, when spending time with my children, I aimed to be fully present instead of preoccupied with what needed to happen next.

Of course, as a parent, it’s unrealistic to single-task all the time. Many of my efforts get interrupted. But each time I manage to focus, I find that I can complete tasks more efficiently, often yielding better results because I’m giving them my undivided attention. When that task involves quality time with my kids or my partner, we all feel happier and more relaxed afterward. Physically, I also notice a decrease in fatigue. While the tiredness hasn’t vanished completely, for my mind, single-tasking serves as a refreshing break.

Sometimes, we mothers take pride in our multitasking abilities, and rightly so, given the impressive capabilities of the female brain. However, there’s a fine line between effective multitasking and pushing ourselves to the point of burnout. I came perilously close to crossing that line this past year, but I’m now taking deliberate steps in the right direction—one task at a time.

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In summary, I discovered that my constant exhaustion was largely due to multitasking. By embracing single-tasking, focusing on one thing at a time, I’ve found a path toward greater presence and less fatigue, allowing me to enjoy my time with my family more deeply.

Keyphrase: Single-tasking for moms
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