Recently, a group of women I considered my close friends went out for dinner and drinks without me. I woke up to a flurry of social media posts labeled “Girls’ Night!” with pictures of them gathered around a large, inviting table, drinks in hand and beaming smiles on their faces.
I quickly counted the attendees and realized I was the only one missing. As I scrolled through captions like “Much needed!” and “Cheers to friendship!”, it hit me: I was left out. My heart sank—I felt like a teenager again, grappling with feelings of rejection reminiscent of being excluded from a popular clique.
At first, I thought about leaving a snide comment like, “Thanks for the invite,” hoping they’d notice my annoyance. But then I caught myself. I’m an adult—33 years old, to be exact.
I shared my feelings with my husband, who was quick to offer some comforting reassurances. “You can’t be the only one not invited,” he said. “They probably didn’t mean anything by it.” He even suggested I might not have gone anyway, considering I’m almost 30 weeks pregnant. But that wasn’t the point! I still wanted to feel included.
As anger bubbled beneath my disappointment, I found myself thinking, “Forget them! I’ll remember who I won’t be inviting next time.” My husband, ever the calm one, suggested I directly ask one of them what happened. He believed I’d get a rational explanation that would ease my feelings of exclusion.
Instead, I opted to step back and let it simmer for a bit. I’ve learned through my years that jumping to conclusions often leads to misunderstandings. So, I took some time to reflect on my feelings over the next couple of weeks. I wondered if I had offended anyone or if there was something else going on.
Upon reflection, I realized I do want to be invited out, but not out of pity. I want to be included because I genuinely belong. I also understood that not every gathering will include me, and that’s okay. I’ve been in similar situations before, and I likely will be again.
Do my friends owe me an explanation for their choice? Honestly, I don’t think so. The reality is that not everyone will vibe with me all the time. I can be a bit sassy, share too much about my pregnancy, and sometimes come off a little too intense. If someone isn’t in the mood for my energy, that’s perfectly fine! I’m not always in the mood for everyone else’s quirks either.
Ultimately, I’ve realized that regardless of where my friends are or what they’re doing, I’m good. My husband is there for me, and I hope they feel the same about me. After all, we’re adults, and I still care about them.
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In summary, being left out by my friends taught me valuable lessons about acceptance and self-worth. While I initially felt hurt, I’ve come to understand that not everyone will want to include me all the time, and that’s perfectly human.
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