55 Inspiring Quotes from Ted Lasso That Rival “Be A Goldfish”

pregnant woman in black shirt holding her bellyAt home insemination kit

Whether you’re a fan of soccer or not, there’s something undeniably charming about Apple TV+’s Ted Lasso. This heartwarming comedy features Jason Sudeikis as the optimistic coach who, despite lacking experience in soccer, brings a refreshing perspective to a British football team. The show’s unique blend of humor and sincerity has led to countless memorable quotes that resonate with viewers.

If you haven’t yet experienced this delightful series, it’s a must-see! Ted Lasso took the awards season by storm, earning Sudeikis a Golden Globe, a Critic’s Choice Award, and a Screen Actor’s Guild Award. It all began with a few promotional spots for NBC Sports back in 2013, but it blossomed into a beacon of joy during quarantine. If you’ve already binge-watched the series, you’re probably ready to dive back in for a second or third round, soaking up those witty one-liners and heartfelt moments before the next season. Here are some of our favorite Ted Lasso quotes to reflect on, and remember, always be a goldfish.

Favorite Quotes from Ted Lasso:

  1. “Tackling a challenge is much like riding a horse. If you feel at ease while doing it, you’re likely doing it wrong.”
  2. “If we meet in our dreams, let’s mess around a bit and act like we don’t know each other.”
  3. “Gentlemen, I could watch your North Korean military routine all day, but I need a favor.”
  4. “When it comes to locker rooms, I prefer them like my mom’s bathing suits—only want to see them in one piece.”
  5. “How do you take your tea?” “Usually back to the counter because there’s been a terrible mistake.”
  6. “Do you believe in ghosts?” “I do, but more importantly, they need to believe in themselves.”
  7. “I always thought tea would taste like hot brown water. Turns out, I was right. It’s awful. No thanks.”
  8. “Even Woody and Buzz had their moments.”
  9. “Beating yourself up is like Woody Allen playing the clarinet. I don’t want to hear it.”
  10. “Don’t waste the wisdom that comes with age.”
  11. “Change can be daunting. One moment you’re playing freeze tag with friends, the next you’re dealing with zits and awkward feelings.”
  12. “Embracing change is what it’s all about.”
  13. “One more person confuses me, and I’m having a classic tantrum, like my son calling me silly names.”
  14. “Tea and I are on a lifelong hiatus.”
  15. “There’s something worse than being sad: being sad and alone. No one here is alone.”
  16. “Remember, your body is like day-old rice. If it’s not warmed up right, something bad could happen.”
  17. “If God wanted games to end in ties, she wouldn’t have invented numbers.”
  18. “You’re giving me the silent treatment? That’s a combo. Does it come with a medium drink?”
  19. “I believe in hope. I believe in Believe.”
  20. “Smells like potential.”
  21. “A smurf with an attitude sounds like a blast to watch.”
  22. “Sounds to me like someone’s stuck in life’s most complicated shape: a love triangle.”
  23. “You tore your butt? Nothing to be ashamed of.”
  24. “Knock-a-doodle-doo!”
  25. “Early drinking leads to quick drunkenness.”
  26. “If you care about someone and have love in your heart, there’s nothing you can’t face together.”
  27. “I learned two things from playgrounds: always say no to candy from strangers and telling a bully to stop just makes it worse.”
  28. “I think I understand who killed Kennedy better than I do offside rules. (Long pause) It was the mob.”
  29. “If you told me I’d be drinking tea every day a year ago, I would have punched you.”
  30. “To be a Premier League team, you need three things: physical play, full effort until the final whistle, and sponsorship from a Middle-Eastern airline.”
  31. “How many countries are in this country?”
  32. “Be curious, not judgmental.”
  33. “What’s the happiest animal on Earth? A goldfish. Why? Because it has a ten-second memory. Be a goldfish, Sam.”
  34. “Jamie Tartt: ‘Coach, I’m me. Why would I want to be anyone else?’ Ted: ‘You might not realize how psychologically healthy that is.’”
  35. “Tackling a challenge is much like riding a horse. If you feel at ease while doing it, you’re likely doing it wrong.”
  36. “This woman here is strong, confident, and powerful. Boss, I wouldn’t want to see you arm wrestle Michelle Obama, but I wouldn’t be able to look away.”
  37. “Why are you winding him up?” “Because he’s the one, coach. If we’re going to make a difference, it starts in his heart.”
  38. “Success isn’t about wins and losses; it’s about helping these young men become their best selves.”
  39. “I prefer people to get rich through their contributions to the world, not just family connections.”
  40. “Little girls are mysterious, silly, and powerful. I gave up trying to understand them long ago.”
  41. “I value each of your opinions, even when you’re wrong.”
  42. “Our goal is to exit like Willie Nelson—on a high note!”
  43. “When it comes to locker rooms, I prefer them like my mother’s bathing suits—only want to see them in one piece.”
  44. “I can’t wait to learn about relegation.”
  45. “Ties and no playoffs? Why do you even do this?”
  46. “Come on, Rob! Get it in there for three points!”
  47. “Explain to me how that was offside. No! Seriously! Explain offside to me. It makes no sense.”
  48. “That right there is a scone. Tastes like a muffin but sucks all the spit out of your mouth.”
  49. “I struggle to hear those who don’t believe in themselves.”
  50. “Funny thing about coincidences: sometimes they just happen.”
  51. “Coach, I feel like we’re not in Kansas anymore.”
  52. “If that’s a joke, I love it. If not, can’t wait to unpack it later.”
  53. “You could fill two internets with what I don’t know about football.”
  54. “I never know how to react when a grown man beatboxes in front of me.”
  55. “As someone once said, the harder you work, the luckier you get.”

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In summary, Ted Lasso delivers a treasure trove of inspiring and humorous quotes that encourage us to embrace challenges, believe in ourselves, and find joy in the little moments. No matter what life throws at you, take a leaf out of Ted’s book—stay optimistic and be a goldfish.

Keyphrase: Ted Lasso Quotes

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