My daughter recently decided it was time to shave her legs. With many of her friends sporting shorts and smooth skin at school, she felt ready to join in. I fully supported her decision and offered to help, but I made it clear that the choice to shave—or not—was entirely hers. If she wanted to wait or skip shaving altogether, that was perfectly fine.
She opted to go ahead with it, and I helped her shave her legs while we sat on the edge of the tub. That was a few weeks ago, and she hasn’t mentioned it since. Whether it didn’t quite live up to her expectations or she simply doesn’t care anymore, I’m okay with it.
Back in my middle school days, shaving legs was a rite of passage. Girls were expected to start this practice somewhere between fifth and seventh grade, and it was almost mandatory to flaunt it, regardless of the weather. If you didn’t have smooth legs and a stylish outfit, what were you doing?
I barely had any leg hair, but I succumbed to peer pressure. The notion was that shaving would somehow elevate my social standing and beauty. However, I ended up with nicked skin and the occasional burn from hair removal lotion. In my adolescent mind, I thought that using a razor would magically transform me into someone more popular and mature.
In contrast, nowadays, many people choose to embrace their natural body hair. On social media, I see women proudly showcasing their unshaven underarms, questioning why they should conform to societal standards when men don’t have to. It raises the question: when did removing body hair become a norm we all had to adhere to?
I’m teaching my kids that if they feel ready to shave, I’ll guide them on how to do it safely. But if they choose not to, that’s completely their decision. They can always change their minds later, or not at all.
This idea extends beyond body hair. What our children wear, how they style their hair, and the hobbies they pursue are all forms of self-expression. As long as their choices are appropriate and safe, why should it matter? Childhood is the perfect time for exploration and self-discovery.
My kids have engaged in activities that break traditional gender norms. For instance, one of my daughters played roller hockey, while another is the only girl in her drumming class. It’s inspiring to see them thrive in areas that are often stereotyped for one gender or the other.
We grew up in a time when girls played with dolls and boys played with trucks. Watching societal norms shift has been refreshing. Those rigid divisions in clothing and activities seem outdated. I remember the discomfort of wearing tights to church while the boys got to wear comfortable khaki pants. I don’t want my children to experience that kind of pressure.
Ultimately, body hair can stay or go, depending on what makes them comfortable. Their reasons for choosing either option don’t need validation from anyone else. Adolescence is a time for fitting in and standing out, and it’s crucial for them to establish healthy boundaries. They should understand that they don’t need to justify their choices to others.
I hope more parents embrace body positivity, including body hair, and educate their children about the freedom to choose whether or not to alter their bodies. Regardless of what my children decide, I want them to learn not to judge their peers for their choices. We’d all be happier if we focused on our own decisions.
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In summary, I am encouraging my tweens to embrace their choices regarding body hair, whether they decide to shave or not. It’s essential for them to understand that their bodies are theirs to manage, and they should feel comfortable expressing themselves without fear of judgment.
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