“We may need to consider using an egg donor.” Those words hit me like a ton of bricks as I sat alone in the doctor’s office, my husband waiting for me outside in the car during the peak of the second wave of COVID-19. After investing so much hope, time, and money into this journey, hearing such a diagnosis was devastating.
I had just completed my second IVF cycle, which resulted in one embryo reaching genetic testing—only to be told it was abnormal. From a young age, I was taught about the importance of preventing pregnancy, starting birth control at 13 and using it on and off for over a decade. When my husband and I felt financially ready for a child, I excitedly stopped taking the pill, fully expecting to conceive within a month. After all, we’ve been led to believe that “all it takes is one time.” Yet here I am, countless attempts later, still waiting.
We are blessed with a wonderful son who took six months to conceive, thanks to Clomid, a medication I affectionately call my BFF. However, the journey to have a second child revealed that I have Diminished Ovarian Reserve (DOR), secondary infertility, and my husband has low morphology. This diagnosis shook me to my core. Every woman I know shares a similar fear: what if there’s something wrong with my eggs? As someone with a tendency towards anxiety, I found myself plagued by thoughts like, “It’s your fault,” and “You were on birth control too long.”
Learning I had DOR felt like a punch to the gut. My egg reserve was alarmingly low—equivalent to that of a woman in her mid-30s or early 40s, even though I was only 27. I was in my prime, the same age my mother was when she had me. Despite this diagnosis, I dove headfirst into supplements and vitamins, determined to defy the odds.
Ladies, please get your AMH levels checked! Even if you’re not planning to have children soon, it’s crucial to know what’s happening in your body. I experienced no symptoms indicating DOR. My cycles were always regular, so this diagnosis caught me off guard.
Before consulting with a reproductive endocrinologist, we attempted to conceive naturally for seven months. After realizing we needed help again, I called my OB for Clomid. After just one dose, I was thrilled to learn I was pregnant; I began envisioning our lives with a second child. Tragically, this joy turned to heartbreak just two weeks later when I miscarried.
Despite my sadness, I pressed on. After a couple more months with Clomid, we sought the expertise of a reproductive specialist, leading to the devastating diagnosis. The initial plan included IUIs, which were covered by our insurance. Each month, I took Clomid, went for monitoring, and underwent insemination. I was convinced success was just around the corner, only to face disappointment time and again.
Eventually, we turned to IVF, something I never imagined I would need to do. I was unaware of the process or the associated costs, but I was ready to try. On the day I was set to begin medication, my doctor called to inform me I was pregnant. However, he suspected it wasn’t viable due to low hormone levels, and he was right. Three weeks later, I miscarried once more.
Determined, I proceeded with IVF. After my first egg retrieval, I learned only seven eggs were retrieved, which is common with my condition. Unfortunately, none of the embryos made it. I was devastated but remained hopeful as I embarked on a second cycle, ultimately retrieving eight eggs. Only one embryo made it to the blastocyst stage, but it was deemed abnormal.
This news felt like another loss. Each fertilized embryo represented a piece of our hopes and dreams, and it was heartbreaking to see them not develop as we had wished. After a second opinion and additional tests, we discovered stage 2 and 3 endometriosis that had gone undetected. If I hadn’t undergone surgery, I would have remained unaware of this condition.
Both my husband and I face significant reproductive challenges, which leaves us feeling as though we’re running out of options and time. Despite having one beautiful son whom I cherish, I long to give him a sibling. I wrestle with gratitude for what I have while yearning for more. I dream of a bustling household filled with laughter, sibling squabbles, and the chaos of family life.
I am angry at my body for not fulfilling its purpose. I can provide my son with toys and memorable experiences, yet I struggle to give him the sibling he deserves. Our journey to expand our family is far from over; we will continue to fight, hoping for a miracle.
For more information on fertility options, check out this excellent resource on IUI success rates. If you’re considering fertility boosters for your partner, visit this helpful site. And if you’re looking for conception tools, take a look at our blog on home insemination kits.
Summary
This article shares a deeply personal journey of infertility, highlighting the challenges of diminished ovarian reserve and low sperm morphology. The author reflects on her struggles with IVF, loss, and the emotional toll of trying to conceive a second child. Through determination and hope, she navigates the complexities of her situation while cherishing her son and dreaming of a larger family.
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Keyphrase: Diminished Ovarian Reserve and Low Morphology
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