From The Confessional: Our Cluttered Homes Are Causing Us Stress

When I reflect on my life before becoming a parent, I recall peaceful weekends, happy hours with friends, and long strolls with my partner, dreaming of the future. I also remember our small but always immaculate apartment.

What made it so tidy? For one, I had ample time to dedicate to cleaning each Saturday. More importantly, we didn’t accumulate clutter. There were no Lego mountains on the counter, no shoe tornado by the door, and no half-eaten apples lying around.

Living a clutter-free life was simple when it was just the two of us, with more hours in the day and fewer people in the house. Fast forward to today, and we barely scrape by until bedtime each night. Our home is hardly ever clean. Even if I dedicate an entire day to clearing out one room, that sense of accomplishment vanishes as soon as I step into another neglected space.

Take the kitchen, for example. It’s a chaotic mix of unopened mail, dirty dishes, a ketchup bottle left out, a hoodie draped over a chair, and all the ingredients for dinner I still need to prepare. And that’s only the kitchen! The kids’ rooms, the living room, the office, the basement… well, you get the picture.

I genuinely dislike clutter. I long for my tidy, old apartment. Yet, I adore my family more than anything, and despite my constant reminders to put their things away, I wouldn’t exchange this life for another. A simple gesture like saying “Happy Mother’s Day” while putting their dirty socks in the laundry instead of leaving them on the living room rug would mean the world to me.

Successfully cleaning out my daughter’s playroom without resorting to tossing everything in despair has been my biggest achievement this year. I truly believe Marie Kondo would be proud!

Confessions About Clutter

Confession #25828060: After years of hoarding, my partner has finally started decluttering and fixing up our home. It’s looking less like a disaster zone, and he seems more appealing to me too. Coincidence?

Confession #25817449: I’ve been donating a lot of items. It hasn’t exactly sparked joy, but I do feel lighter.

Confession #25785006: I was tired of my family not cleaning up after themselves, so I’ve started tossing their items without telling them. Clutter be gone! The sad part is they don’t even notice what’s missing.

Confession #25784972: Marie Kondo was right. De-cluttering feels amazing. And when my partner does it? That’s next level good.

Confession #25822909: My motivation for tackling clutter is that I have two kids in college now. If they get engaged like I did, I don’t want to be embarrassed to host their future in-laws.

Confession #25825782: That awkward moment when you try to donate items but even charities don’t want your stuff.

Confession #25820424: I have a video appointment with my doctor today, and I’m more anxious than usual. I’m worried the kids will yell, the dog will bark, and the doctor will see my messy home.

Confession #25820265: It’s mortifying when our homes are messy. We stress over what others think, even though we’re genuinely doing our best.

Confession #25820102: What I miss most from my child-free days is a clean house. We try to declutter and have the kids tidy up, but with books, sports gear, and toys everywhere, I can’t even walk through my house!

Confession #25778471: I need to stop complaining about all the little annoyances, but it’s tough. The clutter drives me nuts. I feel hopeless at keeping things neat, especially with two small kids.

Confession #25773269: Living with everyone else’s mess is driving me crazy.

Confession #25792404: I often daydream about leaving my partner for a cute, clean home. I’m not sure if that’s a good motivation or just wishful thinking.

Confession #25786195: My partner thinks I’m organizing and donating to tidy up. In truth, I’m preparing for our inevitable divorce.

Confession #25777448: My partner clutters every surface, especially in the kitchen. After 15 years, I no longer feel guilty about tossing their things.

It’s also damaging to our relationships. It’s hard to swallow resentment when you put in hard work for a tidy space but see your partner drop their keys and dirty dishes on the counter without a care. It can make you feel invisible, as if no one else cares about keeping the house in order.

For many of us, whether due to nature, family habits, or simply lacking time, clutter is just part of life. We enjoy fleeting moments of tidiness, right before everything is turned upside down again. We buy guides on decluttering and follow Instagram tips, teaching our families where things belong. Yet socks still end up on the counter, homework on the couch, and dirty cups in the kids’ room, leaving us to wonder if anyone is listening.

If you find yourself in a constant battle with clutter and are curious how others maintain their clean homes, know you’re not alone. I’m right there with you, and I’m about to go clean my kitchen again, only for it to be wrecked in 11 minutes. At least there’s still that bottle of wine waiting for me.

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Summary

The struggle with clutter is a common challenge for many parents, as they navigate the chaos of family life while longing for the tidy homes of their pre-parenting days. The emotional toll of living in clutter can lead to feelings of resentment and frustration, but despite the mess, the love for family remains strong.

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