I Discovered I Was Expecting – Then Learned I Had Cancer

pregnant belly beside baby cribAt home insemination kit

In the autumn of 2019, my family faced an emotional rollercoaster, delivering both joyful and heartbreaking news within a single month. At the end of July, I found out I was pregnant with our third child, a daughter. Just weeks later, I received the shocking diagnosis of cancer. Two life-altering moments collided, leaving me feeling utterly overwhelmed.

During a family game night in August, we were playing Monopoly. As I leaned down to collect my $200 after passing “go,” I accidentally dropped the cash. While reaching for the bills, my hand brushed over a noticeable lump beneath my skin. A wave of panic washed over me, and I felt a lump form in my throat. I tried to convince myself it was nothing serious—a bruise or perhaps a pulled muscle—but deep down, I knew I needed to see my doctor immediately. I scheduled an appointment for the next day.

As I walked into the doctor’s office, I had calmed my initial fears, considering all the benign possibilities for the lump. However, my nerves returned when the doctor informed me that the lump looked suspicious. She recommended a biopsy that same day to rule out anything serious. We both reassured ourselves, “I’m sure it’s nothing,” but I later realized that she was likely trying to comfort me while I repeated those words in an effort to convince myself.

I was directed to a nearby hospital for further examination and was told I could have the biopsy scheduled within a week. Anxiety crept in as I remembered we were departing for our annual trip to the Jersey shore the following day. I just wanted to resolve this issue so I could enjoy my time with family.

The hospital promised results within a few days—an eternity in my mind. The day after our arrival at the shore, I tried to temporarily set aside the stress of my recent diagnosis. I longed for the call that would clear my name of worry and allow me to savor the sun-soaked days with my loved ones.

On the third day of our vacation, I received the call while playing shuffleboard with my son. My heart raced as I recognized the number. I had hoped to hear, “It’s benign,” but instead, the words I heard shattered my world: “You are positive for breast cancer.” Everything after that felt like a blur. I turned away from my son as tears streamed down my face, struggling to absorb what I had just heard. I took a deep breath and asked the caller to repeat the diagnosis. What type? What stage? What did it all mean? Fear consumed me as I thought of our children: how could I explain this to them when I didn’t have answers myself?

I tried to maintain my composure, but when my son approached and asked, “Why are you crying, Mom?” I was at a loss for words. I called my husband to share the news and asked him to join us. When he arrived, I collapsed into his arms, still in shock.

The next day, I woke to the sounds of our kids running into the kitchen. I could barely move, having spent the night Googling everything I could about breast cancer. When I finally got out of bed, I attempted to put on a brave face for breakfast, but upon seeing the kids, I broke down again. Our son asked, “Mom, why are you crying? What’s going on?”

We’ve always been honest with our children, so I knew I had to tell him the truth. I asked, “Do you know what cancer is?” He replied, “Yes, it’s when someone loses all their hair and has less than a 1% chance of living.” I explained, “That’s one type, but there are many kinds of cancer, and mine is curable. I have great doctors, and I’m learning about this just like you are. Feel free to ask me anything, and I will do my best to answer.” I gave our younger daughter an age-appropriate explanation, ensuring both kids were informed.

We decided to wait until my treatment plan was established before sharing the news about their new sibling. I wanted to absorb as much information as possible to make decisions that would affect not only my life but also that of our unborn child. The kids were overjoyed when we finally revealed we were expecting another family member. We created a fun scavenger hunt for them, using clues to spell out, “We’re having a baby!” Every day, we express gratitude for our little one.

Now, a year and a half into treatment, our family shares our “highs” and “lows” at dinner each night. This practice helps us reflect on our struggles and appreciate the lessons learned. Throughout this journey, we’ve experienced many ups and downs, with our children involved at every step—even taking turns shaving my head for the first time! Being open and honest with each other has been essential in processing the weight of our situation.

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Summary

In this poignant narrative, a woman shares her journey of discovering she was pregnant and then receiving a breast cancer diagnosis within weeks. The story highlights her emotional struggle, the impact on her family, and how they navigated this challenging time with honesty and support.

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