I’ll admit it: I was a moody teenager. But honestly, can you blame me? Those teenage years were all about the hormones, right? I remember waking up as a kid, full of excitement each day. I couldn’t wait for school, to wear my favorite purple shirt, or to enjoy hot chocolate after class. Even rainy days thrilled me, as I adored the sound of raindrops.
Back then, I was like a bundle of joy, bouncing around with my endless energy. My teachers often chatted with my parents about how I was “too social” and needed to tone it down. My mom even played a game called “Let’s See How Long You Can Go Without Talking,” and I could barely last three minutes, despite her offers of cash rewards.
But then, around age twelve, everything changed. I found myself in band class, and suddenly tears were streaming down my face for no apparent reason. The excited girl who was thrilled about the dance that night was nowhere to be found. Instead, I had transformed into someone who craved solitude.
Fast forward to my late teens, and I thought I had outgrown that moody phase. I was wrong. Upon turning 40, the emotional rollercoaster I experienced as a child felt like a walk in the park compared to the unhinged woman I am now. The mood swings hit me like a tidal wave.
Almost six years have passed since I hit that milestone, and these mood swings don’t show any signs of easing up; if anything, they’re intensifying. One moment I’m calm, and the next, I feel like I could snap a log in half. I often surprise myself with my sudden shifts into “bitch mode,” ready to lash out if anyone crosses my path.
Recently, I discussed this with a friend who revealed that she and her husband have adopted a safe word for when she feels those dark clouds of irritability rolling in. A safe word! If you haven’t reached perimenopause yet, you might scoff at this, thinking self-control is a given. But trust me, you won’t understand until you reach this point.
These emotional swings are real, and controlling them is no easy feat. I’ve tried everything—sleep, exercise, cutting back on sugar, and taking magnesium—but there’s no universal solution. Middle-aged mood swings can feel like someone else has hijacked your brain.
Imagine waking up feeling fine, only to be hit with crippling anxiety half an hour later for no reason at all. Your body plays tricks on you too; one minute you’re freezing, and the next you feel like you could stand outside naked just to cool down. You experience hunger pangs one day, fantasizing about a feast, only to be struck with nausea and cramps the next.
A friend mentioned her libido has vanished, while another joked that hers is so high her husband can’t keep up. And let’s not forget the joys of middle age: acne, wrinkles, and unwanted hair sprouting up like weeds. It’s like your body is saying, “Let’s make this transition as painful as possible by robbing you of sleep and throwing in some unsightly zits.”
You don’t realize just how irritable you can become until you hit your 40s. Sure, there are perks to this stage of life—like not caring as much about others’ opinions and finally knowing which jeans fit best. But that doesn’t stop you from wanting to snatch a bag of chips from your partner’s hands and smash it over their head when they crunch too loudly.
Even the smallest inconveniences, like a clog in the sink, can send you to tears. Middle age can feel like you’re experiencing PMS every other day. And even on days when you feel like yourself, there’s that nagging dread that your irritable side will rear its head soon, a pattern you’ve come to expect.
If only there were a magic pill for this! Until that exists, perhaps we should all adopt a safe word like my friend did.
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