Let’s be honest—I swear. A lot. “Fuck” is one of my go-to words. It captures happiness, sadness, and anger all at once. Honestly, I think it’s pretty much always fitting. “Shit”? Love it. “Goddamn”? A classic. “Asshole”? That’s practically a term of endearment in my house. I’m an adult, and I’m not shy about expressing myself. Plus, I don’t really care what anyone else thinks.
Most mornings kick off with something like, “Oh, crap! We need to hurry up, or we’ll be late.” I might add, “Don’t forget that stupid water bottle again.” I try to keep the profanity to a minimum at the start of the day, so my kids can have a positive morning. But once they’re out of the car, the real me surfaces, and let’s just say, she has a bit of a colorful vocabulary.
I don’t know about you, but I’m a fantastic driver. I know the rules and regulations, but not everyone else on the road seems to get it. And I feel it’s my job to let them know. I steer clear of hand gestures because I don’t want to provoke anyone, so I just vent my frustrations aloud. It’s like every clueless driver decides to hit the road in a downpour. Don’t even get me started on the “sunshine slowdown.” Those drivers should just hand over their keys! And if you honk at me when a light turns green? Seriously, take a chill pill!
I don’t always resort to “fuck,” though. There are plenty of other fun words, like “shit.” It’s extremely versatile. “I don’t understand this shit,” or “Clean up your shit, now!” My personal favorite is “Holy shit!” That one can mean anything from surprise to deep sadness. It even goes well with a little Catholic flair, which makes my mom proud of her tuition investment.
Sometimes, I just need to call someone an asshole. It’s a word I use frequently. You can be an asshole, act like one, or simply know one. My husband is well-acquainted with the term; at one point, I think he thought it was his real name. But that’s a story for another time.
Speaking of my husband, he’s no stranger to swearing either. If I counted the daily “Motherfuckers!” that erupt from him while he’s battling technology, he’d definitely come out on top. Meanwhile, I’m more of a “son-of-a-bitch” kind of gal when the WiFi acts up. “This son-of-a-bitchin’ WiFi never works! I swear we’re switching providers after this billing cycle!” That rolls off the tongue quite nicely, don’t you think?
However, there’s one word I steer clear of completely. It starts with a “c” and ends with three other letters. It sends chills down my spine. Even if I think you’re the worst person ever, I won’t use that word. My husband shares that sentiment. In a house where we let our language flow, that particular word remains off-limits. We have our standards, after all.
You might think I should have a swear jar to curb my language around the kids. Do they take debit? Because I never carry that kind of cash! My kids get that this is just how I talk, and they understand that our household operates on a “do as I say, not as I do” basis. They know that using such colorful language is something reserved for grown-ups. You have to earn the right to call someone a stupid motherfucking asshole when they annoy you. It’s a skill that requires practice, and they’re simply not ready for that responsibility. Plus, if they started cursing, it would tarnish my perfect parenting reputation!
Some days, I keep it mild. I might tell my husband he’s acting like an ass without actually calling him an “asshole.” Not every word out of my mouth is a curse; I have plenty of other niceties to share. “I love your new haircut.” “Your daughter is adorable!” “I’m so proud of your hard work.” “Shoot! I just cut my finger.” “Oh no, I thought you’d like that shirt.” I’m a nice person; I just like to add a little spice with a curse here and there. Is that so wrong?
I’m not a quiet little wallflower who sits back and stays sweet. If that’s what you’re looking for, keep moving. But if you want to trade expletives, grab a seat. It’s so nice to meet you!
For more insights, you can check out this blog post for additional perspectives on swearing and parenting. If you’re interested in home insemination, CryoBaby offers an excellent at-home insemination kit. Also, don’t miss this valuable resource on intrauterine insemination.
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In summary, I don’t hold back my swearing in front of my kids; it’s just part of who I am. While I do try to keep it in check at times, I believe that they understand the difference between adult language and what’s appropriate for them. It’s all about being authentic in our household, and I appreciate the humor and spice that swearing can bring to life.
Keyphrase: swearing around kids
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