Claw-some Lobster Puns and Jokes to Make You Smile

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If you’ve ever dined at a seafood restaurant, you might have taken the plunge and selected your own lobster from the tank. It’s what everyone seems to do on screen! However, you quickly realize a crucial truth: not all lobsters are equal. Usually, they’re sold by weight, so if you picked a hefty one, your meal likely came with a hefty price tag. On the other hand, if you went for a smaller lobster, you might have found yourself still a bit famished an hour later. But hey, at least your wallet was happier! If you’ve had your share of lobster dining misadventures, we’re here to help you transform those cringe-worthy memories into laughter. Get ready for some claw-some lobster puns and jokes!

Lobster puns and jokes are a great way to lighten the mood, especially for seafood lovers! The lobster, an intriguing marine creature, deserves our appreciation. Just think, those grocery store lobster tanks are doing wonders to improve their reputation! Though, we admit, the thought of encountering one at the beach is a bit unsettling—those claws can be intimidating, and yes, they do have an unusual way of urinating (it’s true!).

Here are some delightful lobster puns and jokes to share at your next lobster feast:

Lobster Puns:

  • Lobsters love their morning clawfee piping hot.
  • When answering the phone, a lobster says, “Shello?”
  • Lobsters enjoy celebrating holidays because ’tis the sea-son.
  • One lobster was upset because his teacher called him a lost claws.
  • The lobster struggling in school was failing algae-bra.
  • A lobster left home due to pier pressure.
  • A lady lobster wears seashells because she has outgrown her B-shells.
  • The lobster asked its catfish friend, “Who is your cod-father?”
  • A person searched Portland for lobster but found none; it was upsetting—lobster is a Maine attraction!
  • The lobster lost its fortune because it was shelling out money.
  • Lobsters make terrible friends as they are way too shellfish.
  • A lobster reported a crime and was asked to be more Pacific.
  • One lobster contemplated proposing, and his friend asked if he was shore about it.
  • At a lobster wedding, the groom called his partner his “butter half.”
  • The lobster claimed he’d dive into boiling water, and everyone thought he was cray-sea.
  • At a farewell party, a lobster told his colleague he was one shell of a guy.
  • The lobster found it hard to retire since he was tide to his job.
  • Since she was late every day, she lobster job.
  • After an argument, the lobster apologized, saying he was just salty.
  • The crustacean who played tennis was a true lob-star.
  • A lobster’s signature shot? The lob!
  • If you cross a lobster with a phone, you get snappy talk.
  • Expecting an important call, the lobster crabbed the phone.
  • The ocean just waved at the lobster without saying a word.
  • The lobster blushed because of the sea weed.

Lobster Jokes:

  • I dined at Mary Poppins’ restaurant last night… the super cauliflower cheese was great, but the lobster was atrocious.
  • Why are lobsters bad at sharing? Because they’re shellfish.
  • What do you call a lobster that’s afraid of tight spaces? Claws-trophobic.
  • What do you call a tired and overworked lobster? A frustracean.
  • I asked the waiter how they prepared the lobster at a seafood restaurant. He simply said, “We just tell him the truth, man. ‘This is the end of the line.’”
  • A man saw a sign reading “Lobster Tails, $5” and thought it was a steal. He handed over a $5 bill but was told, “Once upon a time, there was this lobster…”
  • Did you hear about the brawl at Red Lobster? Four fish were battered!
  • Who delivers gifts to good lobsters on Christmas? Santa Claws.
  • How much salt do lobsters use when cooking pasta? Just a pinch.
  • Where do lobsters work at the bread factory? At the crust station.
  • One lobster asked another out on a date, and the male lobster offered to pay, making the female lobster blush. “It’s be-claws I love you,” he said.
  • How do lobsters get around the beach? By shell-i-copter.
  • What do you call a famous lobster? A shellebrity.
  • Where do crabs and lobsters park their vehicles? At the bustacean.
  • Why did the lobster visit the physical therapist? It pulled a mussel.
  • A man ordered a lobster for dinner. When it arrived with only one claw, he complained, “Hey, this lobster only has one claw!” The waiter replied, “That lobster was in a fight.” “Okay then,” the man said. “Bring me the winner!”
  • Why couldn’t the woman eat shrimp, lobsters, and clams that had been cooked by heated water vapor? She has shellfish steam issues.
  • What do you call a crab that throws things? A lobster!
  • Where does a lobster keep its clothes? In the clawset.
  • Why was the ocean screaming? You would too if you had lobsters on your bottom!
  • Did you hear about the lobster that rode a sea mammal into battle? He did it on porpoise.
  • Where are there no hipster lobsters? In the Maine stream.
  • Where do lobsters go to borrow money? To the prawn brokers.
  • What’s the perfect name for a pet lobster? Clawde.
  • Did you hear about the fight between the blue and red lobsters? It was like a sea-n from a movie.
  • What’s worse than lobsters on your piano? Crabs on your organ.
  • Where do lobsters wait for the bus? At the bustacean.

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Summary:

From clever puns to hilarious jokes, these lobster quips are perfect for your next seafood dinner. Whether you’re looking to lighten the mood or simply share a laugh with friends, these crustacean-themed lines will definitely make a splash. So, the next time you’re feasting on lobster, don’t forget to share some of these fun puns and jokes!

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