Parenting is a journey filled with challenges, and for those of us with ADHD, it can feel even more daunting. I often find myself grappling with the notion that I might be deceiving others, or even myself. Despite having a diagnosis and two prescribed ADHD medications sitting in my cabinet, accepting that I have ADHD is still a struggle.
Throughout my life, I’ve been labeled as scatterbrained or overly talkative. I’ve faced comments from family and friends suggesting I needed to “get it together” or that I lacked common sense. My hair may have darkened over the years, but I still remember the countless times I was referred to as a “dumb blonde.”
As a child, I displayed many symptoms of ADHD, but those around me dismissed them as mere quirks of personality. This is a common experience for many high-functioning individuals with ADHD, particularly women. Though I excelled academically, my daydreaming led to careless mistakes — I’d add when I should subtract or confuse character names.
Once I learned to take notes and write everything down, I could focus better and manage my assignments. This habit, instilled in me during my Catholic middle school days, served me well in high school and college. However, it wasn’t enough to carry me through doctoral studies where the workload was overwhelming. I ultimately made the difficult decision to drop out.
Social Challenges and Mental Health
Social interactions posed another set of challenges. I often struggled to navigate the complexities of friendships and fitting in. As Kathleen Turner, a leading expert on ADHD, notes, “Girls with ADHD frequently find it difficult to interpret the subtle dynamics of social interactions.” This led to bullying and a prolonged battle with depression that began at the tender age of seven. Unfortunately, this experience is not uncommon for women with ADHD. Research from CHADD indicates that women diagnosed with ADHD in adulthood often experience heightened levels of stress, anxiety, and lower self-esteem.
Before seeking treatment, my high-functioning ADHD meant I was constantly managing chaos. I was the mother who frequently forgot to replenish the diaper bag or keep my car tidy. My vehicle often resembled a moving landfill, filled with fast-food wrappers, toys, and random items. I would spend hours cleaning, only to find it messy again within weeks.
And my home? It was a reflection of my inner turmoil. Clean laundry sat in baskets, books piled haphazardly, and the kitchen counter was a constant battle against a mountain of dishes. My dining room was off-limits to guests, and even though I tried to maintain some semblance of organization, my husband, who also has ADHD, compounded the chaos.
Finding Structure Amidst Chaos
But despite this, I managed to maintain some structure in my life. I dedicated my mornings to writing, rising early to get my thoughts down before the kids awakened. We homeschool in a consistent subject order, and I always made an effort to dress well and wear makeup — a small act that brought me joy. Yet, the facade of having it all together often crumbled under the weight of my ADHD.
Socially, I often found myself double-booking events or forgetting names and important details. This led to embarrassment and a sense of inadequacy. I struggled with money management as well; the thought of opening bills sent me into a panic. I would find myself praying my debit card would work during checkout at the store.
The Impact of Medication
However, medication has dramatically changed my life. It has helped me overcome feelings of imposter syndrome and provided clarity in my daily routines. Adderall, for me, isn’t about getting high; it’s about enhancing productivity and instilling a sense of normalcy. I’m still working on remembering names and dates, but purchasing a planner has been a game-changer. My laundry gets done in a timely manner now, and I feel a renewed sense of order in my life.
It’s essential to note that medication isn’t the answer for everyone. High-functioning ADHD can be overwhelming, and if you find yourself barely keeping afloat, it may be worth seeking an evaluation. Remember, you are not scatterbrained or unintelligent; you possess a brain that processes information differently. Taking action now is crucial, especially since ADHD runs in families — I know my children are experiencing the same inattentive tendencies that my husband and I have. You’ll need all the resources available, from therapists to ADHD coaches, to support your family.
Conclusion
You’ve got this! You already know how to tackle challenges head-on, just as you’ve done before. For additional support and resources, consider visiting Healthline for excellent information on pregnancy and ADHD, or check out Modern Family Blog for more insights on this topic.
In summary, parenting with ADHD presents unique hurdles, but with the right tools and support, it is entirely manageable. Embrace your differences and know that you are not alone in this journey.