When it comes to recognizing fathers in their parenting roles, we have a long way to go. It’s important to remember that not every child has both a mother and a father—some have two dads, one dad, or no mother at all. The following list is drawn from my personal experiences, which are likely shared by many dads out there. Here are 11 phrases we need to retire when talking about fathers:
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“On baby duty, huh?”
Parenting is a shared responsibility. When was the last time someone said this to a mother at a playground? The assumption is that mothers are always on duty, while dads just step in occasionally. This narrative is outdated. A dad caring for his child is just as much a parent as a mom. -
“You babysitting tonight?”
Babysitting refers to watching someone else’s child, not one’s own. When fathers are home with their kids, it’s simply called parenting. Yes, many people don’t mean harm, but let’s stop implying that dads are just babysitting while moms take a break. -
“Taking one for the team, eh?”
While it can be more challenging to manage kids alone, it’s common to see dads praised for simply being present. Mothers often handle multiple children without a second thought. Let’s give dads credit for doing what’s expected, not as if they’re making a huge sacrifice. -
“Relieving mom for a bit?”
Why do we assume that dads are merely providing a break for moms? When moms have the kids, we don’t say they’re giving dad a break. It’s essential to recognize that parenting is a joint effort and not just a favor to the other parent. -
“Let’s hope the house is still standing when mom gets home!”
This comment implies that dads are incompetent when it comes to managing the household. While things may get a bit messy, it’s unfair to assume that all fathers are clueless. They can certainly manage the home without chaos ensuing. -
“Oh, looks like daddy dressed you today.”
Comments about mismatched outfits or a child’s messy appearance unfairly paint dads as inept. Yes, dads may have different fashion senses, but let’s not suggest that only they are responsible for less-than-perfect appearances. -
“Ah, you got him trained well.”
The insinuation that men need to be trained by their partners to be good fathers is outdated. Many men understand the importance of shared responsibilities in parenting and shouldn’t be patronized for it. -
“Wow, he changes diapers!”
Changing diapers is a fundamental part of parenting, yet fathers are often praised as if they’ve performed a heroic feat. Let’s normalize this expectation for both moms and dads, as it’s just part of the job. -
“You’re lucky he’s so helpful.”
The notion that women should count themselves lucky when their partner does basic parenting tasks is ridiculous. It’s essential to set higher expectations and recognize that many dads are actively involved and committed. -
“Just throw on football/MMA/boxing/play Xbox.”
Encouraging dads to engage in their favorite activities while ignoring their kids sends the wrong message. Fathers should be interacting with their children in meaningful ways, not as passive observers while indulging in adult pastimes. -
Making references to mommy/your wife.
While it’s common to assume a man with a child has a partner, many don’t fit into that mold. Comments like these can alienate single fathers or those in different family structures. Let’s focus on the dad-child relationship without bringing assumptions about their partner into it.
It’s crucial to move beyond these outdated stereotypes and recognize that fatherhood is an integral part of parenting. Whether you’re a dad, a mom, or someone who interacts with dads, we can all contribute to fostering an environment that respects and celebrates fathers for their active roles.
For more insights on parenting and family dynamics, you can check out resources like March of Dimes for pregnancy information, and our own Modern Family Blog for parenting tips. If you’re looking to boost fertility, consider exploring our fertility booster for men.
In summary, let’s work towards eliminating these phrases that undermine dads and their contributions to parenting. By fostering a more equitable dialogue around fatherhood, we can create a more inclusive environment for all families.