Moms as the Decision Makers During the Pandemic: A Tiring Reality

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My teenager wanted to attend a New Year’s Eve party with a couple of friends and his girlfriend. Navigating such decisions as a mother of a 17-year-old can be challenging, as it involves discussing numerous ground rules. However, given the ongoing pandemic, it was somewhat easier for me to decline his request.

Naturally, I was seen as the villain, especially since other parents were more lenient, eager for their kids to “enjoy themselves” after a difficult year. Yes, I’m aware it’s been tough, Rebecca; I’m living it too.

A few months later, when another friend turned 18, his parents booked a hotel room for him and his friends to “have some fun” again. Once again, I found myself in the position of having to say “no.” The other moms started calling me, my son was frustrated, and his friends were messaging me, trying to convince me it would be fine.

When my son had a sore throat and runny nose before Christmas, I was the first to notice and took him for testing. When my kids wanted to return to school after half the year, they came to me, pleading their case. Just last week, I snapped when my daughter received an invitation to a slumber party, and I had to say she couldn’t go. I felt awful, of course—these kids have been through so much—but I knew a slumber party could easily become a super spreader event, especially with teenagers involved. We all remember the sneaky days of late-night escapades. Plus, I worry that if a parent is okay with sleepovers, they may not prioritize COVID safety.

While my daughter seemed to understand my decision, the day of the party, the hosting dad called me (while I was trying to work, mind you) to discuss my choice. He argued for ten minutes about how seriously they were taking things and requested I reconsider. He didn’t bother to reach out to my ex-husband; once again, the responsibility of prioritizing our family’s health fell on my shoulders, and I was left feeling like the bad guy.

This is not new; mothers have always carried this burden, even in non-COVID times. I’ve always been the one to notice if my children needed a doctor’s visit before my ex did. I made the appointments and took them there. I was the go-to person for their social lives, suggesting playdates since I work from home and occasionally run a ride service on the side. When we run low on snacks, it’s always the kids who come to me.

Over the past year, every decision felt like a matter of life or death, and it was up to us mothers to approve or reject nearly every move our family made. This has been an exceptionally exhausting year, and it’s no surprise that we feel stuck in an impossible situation. The weight of these decisions is heavy, and it’s unfair that we must shoulder it alone.

I’ve heard partners claim it’s because we’re “better at it,” but that’s nonsense. Being the one who bears the worry—having to frequently say no, decide how risky it is to visit the doctor for non-COVID symptoms, and even ponder whether a trip to the store is necessary—can be paralyzing, and no one wants that role. When these responsibilities fall to moms, we become the fun-sponges in our kids’ eyes, burdened with sleepless nights as we ponder how to navigate this chaotic reality.

However, it takes a significant toll. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never experienced this level of exhaustion before in my life.

For more insights on navigating motherhood, check out this blog post and if you’re looking for expert advice on home insemination, visit Make A Mom for valuable resources. For excellent information on pregnancy, you can find helpful guidance at Healthline.

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Summary:

Mothers have historically taken on the bulk of decision-making, and during the pandemic, this burden has intensified. Responsibilities like monitoring health symptoms, managing social interactions, and making safety-related choices often fall to mothers, leaving them feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. It is crucial to recognize this reality and support the mental well-being of moms navigating these challenging times.

Keyphrase: Moms as Pandemic Decision Makers
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