When I heard about the tragic loss of eight lives in Atlanta, including six Asian women, my heart plummeted. The surge of violence and hatred directed at people who look like my family was overwhelming. I found myself grappling with questions that filled me with dread: Was this a pivotal moment? Would the situation only deteriorate?
After sharing my feelings of fear and sorrow with my wife, who is white, we decided it was important for me to address the situation with our older children. Discussing such senseless violence and loss with kids is a daunting task. However, I had previous experience navigating challenging conversations about the murder of George Floyd, the Capitol insurrection, and the racism faced by Asian Americans.
Both my wife and I strive to ensure our kids understand and are aware of current events, especially those that relate to our family’s values regarding social justice and our biracial identity. While I may not have all the right words, I believe that creating imperfect, teachable moments is far better than keeping my children uninformed or relying solely on rumors.
I didn’t want to rush the conversation, so I took a day to process my emotions. I wanted to approach the topic with my kids without letting my feelings overwhelm me. The next day, I sat down with my two oldest daughters, ages 10 and 8, to discuss the upsetting news. I explained that a tragic event had occurred, involving a man taking the lives of eight people, six of whom were Asian women. I conveyed that this news was particularly distressing because it hit so close to home.
As I concluded our conversation, I faced the most challenging moment: I didn’t want to end on a negative note or instill fear in them. So, I assured them they would be safe. I had no real way to guarantee this, but I felt it was necessary to provide some comfort. To reinforce this, I mentioned that these events happened far away, on the other side of the country.
Once we finished talking, I realized I had been dishonest. There was no way to ensure their safety completely. Data from organizations like Stop AAPI Hate highlights the prevalence of hate incidents, particularly in California. Just a week earlier, I learned about an attack on an Asian man in a nearby community. Beyond physical violence, my family could face various forms of hate, including verbal abuse and vandalism.
So, why did I lie and say they would be okay?
Firstly, I felt an instinctive need to protect them. As a parent, one of my duties is to prepare my children for the world’s harsh realities. That’s why I felt compelled to discuss these tragic events with them. However, I also didn’t want to instill paralyzing fear. Thus, I reassured them with false hope.
Secondly, as an Asian man, I struggle with expressing emotions—both recognizing and sharing them. I’ve always suppressed my feelings, convincing myself that they would hinder my functioning in daily life. I didn’t want my children to witness the anger and hatred I feel toward those perpetuating violence, fearing I would lose control. So, I continued to lie.
Lastly, I had no clear understanding of what actions were being taken to combat this issue. If there were specific measures in place to address anti-Asian violence, I would have loved to share them with my kids. But in that moment, I had no hope to provide, so I resorted to vague reassurances.
I look forward to a day when I can confidently tell my children they will be okay without it being a lie. In my darkest moments, I fear that day may never arrive, either in my lifetime or theirs. Yet, in my more hopeful moments, I believe that families like ours can contribute to the necessary changes by speaking up and taking action together.
For more insights and stories, check out this blog post on home insemination. If you’re seeking authoritative information on home insemination, visit Make a Mom. For additional knowledge on the success of IUI, this WebMD article is an excellent resource.
Probable Search Queries:
- home insemination kit
- self insemination techniques
- how to use an insemination syringe
- IUI success rates
- home insemination process
Summary: The author reflects on the challenge of discussing tragic events, specifically anti-Asian violence, with their children. While aiming to prepare them for real-world issues, the author grapples with feelings of fear and a desire to protect them, leading to a moment of dishonesty about their safety. The article emphasizes the importance of truthful discussions while highlighting the ongoing struggle against hate.
Keyphrase: Asian American family safety and conversations
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]