Throughout my first pregnancy, I had a clear vision of what motherhood would look like. I imagined myself as a fun mom, effortlessly popping my baby into a carrier while enjoying coffee shops and festivals with my partner. I thought I’d hit the gym regularly and that breastfeeding would come naturally. I was confident I had it all figured out.
Fast forward—none of that happened. Absolutely nothing unfolded as I had envisioned. We stopped going out because it became too overwhelming for me. I didn’t return to the gym for years. And breastfeeding? It was a nightmare. I faced immense pain, my baby struggled to latch, and I found myself in tears each day for the first six weeks.
In hindsight, I don’t regret persevering through those tough times. Eventually, my baby and I found our rhythm, and I successfully breastfed my other two children without much difficulty. However, that journey instilled in me a deep sense of empathy for all mothers, both those who breastfeed and those who choose not to. I firmly believe in the “fed is best” philosophy; no mother should feel pressured to breastfeed or owe anyone an explanation for her feeding choices.
While breastfeeding ultimately became a positive experience for me (the best part being that it didn’t cost anything), I recognize that this isn’t the case for many women. It can be painful, exhausting, and can have lasting effects on mental health and body image.
Breastfeeding is not a walk in the park, and all mothers—regardless of how they choose to feed their babies—deserve support, not judgment.
Confessions of Struggle
- “Breastfeeding my third child is causing me so much pain—milk blebs, mastitis, shooting pains. I’m over it.”
- “I’m in agony breastfeeding my 3rd. I never had issues with my first two, and this is distressing.”
- “Breastfeeding hurts like hell. I wanted to go for a year, but after three and a half months, I just want my boobs to be left alone!”
- “I battle clogged ducts and I’m pump dependent. I’ve tried everything, and I’m exhausted and in pain.”
- “The most frustrating comment I received while struggling with breastfeeding was, ‘If it hurts, you’re doing it wrong.’ No, it hurts because my little one is gnawing on me day and night!”
I remember the days when I had nice, firm breasts. After two kids and 30 months of breastfeeding, they now feel like melted puddles in my hands. I’m only 27. I even resort to wearing silicone inserts in my bra because, after three kids, I feel like I’ve lost my femininity.
Breastfeeding has also changed my body in ways I never expected. Our breasts don’t return to their original form, and the dryness is unbearable. Yet, we’re so exhausted that we often don’t even care.
Many mothers struggle with feelings of guilt surrounding breastfeeding. One mom mentioned she feels guilty for wanting to stop breastfeeding her 9-month-old son, as her daughter had a full year. Another shared she had to give up breastfeeding just a week after her daughter was born due to mental health concerns.
It’s essential to prioritize a mother’s health, even if it means ending breastfeeding. Support should be available from the start, throughout the journey, and during the transition away from breastfeeding. No mother should feel guilty about her choices.
Motherhood is draining. All mothers experience exhaustion, but breastfeeding can elevate that fatigue to a whole new level—mentally and physically.
Misinformation surrounding breastfeeding can be infuriating. Yes, you can have a glass of wine! You can eat what you like! We need stronger support systems that are easily accessible.
Confessions like these reveal the struggles mothers face daily, whether they’re tandem feeding toddlers or navigating the complexities of breastfeeding.
My message to all mothers is this: prioritize your well-being. If breastfeeding is your path, seek out support and resources to help you. If it’s not your choice, you’re still a wonderful mother if you love and nourish your baby in whatever way works for you.
After nearly 13 years in this journey, I firmly believe in two guiding principles of motherhood:
- Fed is best.
- Mom’s health matters.
For more insights, you can check out this resource on pregnancy and consider exploring this post on embryo handling for further support. If you’re looking for fertility supplements, Make A Mom provides excellent options.
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- Breastfeeding challenges
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In summary, breastfeeding can be an incredibly tough journey, filled with challenges that can affect a mother’s physical and mental health. It’s essential for mothers to have support systems in place and to remember that the most important thing is the well-being of both mother and child.
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