Like many others, I found myself gaining weight during the quarantine. To be honest, I started off lighter than usual for a variety of reasons that weren’t about dieting at all. I have polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), which can make weight management challenging. When it’s under control, my weight drops, but when it flares up, it tends to rise. Interestingly, pregnancy has always led to significant weight loss for me because PCOS symptoms lessen during that time. It’s almost as if weight is a complicated issue, and society often makes it seem like overweight individuals just need to eat salads!
When the pandemic began, I was at a lower weight than I had been in years, thanks to having a newborn. This change brought up a lot of feelings about my body and self-worth. Unfortunately, I found myself feeling more valuable and beautiful at a smaller size, which is frustrating. I don’t inherently want my body to be smaller; the weight loss was a natural result of my circumstances, and I believe our bodies should be allowed to change with our lives. However, I’ve been striving to detach my self-worth from my weight, and I was worried about slipping back into old habits.
For the past year, my family has done everything we can to stay safe from COVID-19, which has meant mostly staying home. As a result, I shifted my focus away from my body size. My weight has fluctuated, and I find myself back at my usual size. Growing up, I was inundated with diet culture, so I won’t lie — seeing the scale rise was initially disheartening. Each pound felt like a step further from the “ideal” body type. But I refused to dwell in that mindset because I’ve worked hard to escape that space.
I can confidently say that my efforts to separate my body size from my worth have been invaluable. Through this journey, I’ve recognized that I carry emotional scars from my childhood that influence my body image. It’s essential to remind myself that my body was good then, despite what I was told, and it remains worthy now, regardless of societal expectations.
In the past, I mistakenly equated hunger with morality, thinking that feeling hungry made me a better person, especially as a woman. That’s an unhealthy mindset. It’s crucial to remember that hunger is merely my body signaling that it needs nourishment, and everyone, regardless of size, deserves to eat when hungry. During a pandemic, responding to hunger is even more accessible, as it’s just a short walk to the kitchen.
Constant negative messaging about fat bodies has made me fearful of gaining weight, worried about being perceived as a failure. But I remind myself that my worth and beauty do not depend on my ability to fit an ever-changing ideal.
A couple of weeks ago, I had a doctor’s appointment unrelated to weight. When the nurse called me in, I asked if we could skip the scale. I was anxious about my health and didn’t want to focus on my weight that day. She agreed. When I met with my doctor, she inquired about my health and anxiety but didn’t bring up my weight. I started to explain why I wanted to avoid the scale, but she interrupted gently, saying, “Stop. You don’t need to explain. I’m not concerned about your weight. You don’t smoke, drink, or have any serious health issues. You’ve been home with three kids for a year. If you had come in with health concerns, I would advise you to stop worrying about your weight. Let’s focus on what matters right now.”
See? Accepting the changes in our bodies during such an unprecedented experience isn’t just a good idea — it’s necessary. If you’ve gained a few pounds during the pandemic, you’re far from alone, and you deserve to be kind to yourself. Recognizing your body as a living, evolving organism that adapts to your circumstances brings tremendous freedom.
Your changing body is a testament to your life! So you’ve gained weight — so what? It’s not a reflection of failure; it simply means you nourished yourself during a challenging time. Many loved ones are lost to the virus, but you’re still here, and it’s perfectly okay if you’ve gained a little. I’m grateful to embrace the fact that I too have a bit more of myself to love.
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Summary:
This article reflects on the personal journey of weight gain during quarantine, emphasizing the importance of separating self-worth from body size. It discusses the emotional challenges associated with weight changes, the impact of societal pressures, and the necessity of self-acceptance and kindness during unprecedented times.
Keyphrase: weight gain during quarantine
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