Why I Dislike the Saying ‘Just Because It Comes In Your Size Doesn’t Mean You Should Wear It’

pregnant woman sitting on bed in blue dress with coffee mugAt home insemination kit

Body shaming is deeply rooted in our society, often posing as concern or casual remarks. I’ve encountered people who frequently speak without considering the impact of their words. A prime example is my mother’s go-to comment: “Just because it comes in your size doesn’t mean you should wear it.” During my teenage years, she’d often repeat this whenever she saw someone plus-sized wearing outfits typically favored by those with straight sizes.

Her intention was to convey that certain body types should avoid specific styles, as they may not look as flattering. While she didn’t mean to insult anyone, that’s precisely the effect her words had. Ultimately, my mother had no right to judge what someone else chose to wear. The only opinion that truly matters is how the individual feels in their clothing, independent of their body shape or size.

Understanding Body-Shaming

Body-shaming can take many forms. I vividly remember my father-in-law suggesting I should be more active because, at 41 weeks pregnant with my first daughter, he thought my size was unhealthy for the baby. Some people are blatantly rude, while others subtly convey their judgments disguised as concern or compliments.

“Have you lost weight? You look amazing!” This was a compliment I yearned for during my eating disorder days. Only later did I realize that this praise hinged on my body finally fitting societal beauty standards, reducing my worth to mere appearances.

“You’re so brave to wear that in public!” What’s brave about clothing? Such comments suggest that certain body types are celebrated, while others should be criticized for being different. I remember being told this when I wore a two-piece swimsuit for the first time—a milestone that took me over two decades to achieve through self-acceptance.

“I feel so fat today, I don’t want to leave the house!” Imagine feeling that way daily, yet still managing to step outside. I’ve found myself guilty of this type of body-shaming as well. Being “fat” isn’t a feeling or an identity; it’s a characteristic we all possess to varying degrees. When negative emotions are attached to the word, it sends the message that being fat is inherently bad.

Who Can Be Affected by Body-Shaming?

It’s crucial to recognize that body-shaming affects everyone, regardless of size, gender, or background. While men face societal pressure to stay fit, they often have the option of the “Dad Bod.” In contrast, where is the acceptance for “Mom Bods”? Society expects mothers to portray an attractive image throughout pregnancy and swiftly return to their pre-baby bodies amidst emotional and physical challenges.

The reality is that anyone can fall victim to body-shaming, with damaging effects on self-esteem and mental well-being.

Awareness is Key

Body-shaming can be overt or subtle, yet it is deeply embedded in our culture. Many of us speak without considering the consequences. During my journey of healing from an eating disorder and body dysmorphia, I became more aware of how language affects both ourselves and those around us.

Being raised in an environment where body-shaming was normalized undoubtedly shaped my self-image over the years. The harm inflicted can take years to heal, and low self-esteem can lead to a cascade of mental, emotional, and physical challenges.

Recognizing body-shaming, understanding its manifestations, and empathizing with those affected are vital steps toward fostering change. In our home, we reject labels of skinny or fat. Instead, we celebrate intelligence and kindness. We believe that beauty comes from the love we carry in our hearts, not our clothing choices.

If you’ve experienced body-shaming or have inadvertently contributed to it, take a moment to reflect on how we can transform the narrative. How can we advocate for respect, acceptance, and love for every body?

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Summary

The phrase “Just because it comes in your size doesn’t mean you should wear it” perpetuates harmful body-shaming practices. These remarks can undermine self-esteem and reinforce societal beauty standards. It’s essential to foster a culture of acceptance, focusing on kindness and love rather than judgment based on appearances. Recognizing the impact of our words and promoting a more inclusive narrative is crucial in supporting everyone’s right to wear what makes them feel good.

Keyphrase: body shaming awareness

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