I’m a parent to three teenagers who seem to think that showering is a full-time job, often taking forty-five minutes to emerge. The bathroom is a mystery; let’s just say I find things in there that make me question my life choices. Recently, the bathroom fan broke, and mold was spreading like wildfire across the walls and ceiling. I convinced myself it would magically fix itself overnight, as things sometimes do in my optimistic dreams.
But I forgot all about that fan amid the chaos of my life—perhaps due to daylight saving time throwing off my schedule or the mad dash to get my son to the orthodontist for a broken brace, attend a Zoom meeting with my daughter’s teachers, and drop her off at work all within a two-hour window (which definitely didn’t happen).
So, when my son bluntly pointed out that I needed to get the fan fixed urgently because the paint was peeling, I completely lost it. I found myself on my bedroom floor, wishing for someone to swoop in and take control, because honestly, I felt like I was drowning in responsibilities. My son is nearing graduation, my daughter is learning to drive, and my fourteen-year-old has entered that phase where communication is minimal. And now, this dang fan—I seriously considered torching the whole place.
Managing a full-time job while juggling family life, virtual schooling, and the emotional weight of parenting alone is utterly exhausting. I’ve been navigating the single-parent journey for over four years, thinking that these overwhelming days—scratch that, weeks, months, and years—would eventually fade away. Little did I know that my go-to coping mechanism would involve lying on my bedroom floor in a state of utter defeat.
I’ve found myself there when faced with a running toilet, when my eldest son faced school troubles, or when I contemplated breaking things off with my first post-divorce partner. Those nights when I yearned for the warmth of a complete family felt like a heavy weight on my heart.
Being a single parent means there’s no backup. You can’t think, “If I stumble, we all stumble together.” No, single parents have to stay on their toes, ready to tackle any crisis that arises, be it a child needing stitches, a midnight plumbing disaster, or an urgent school call about a fight.
Kids sense when you’re stressed, even if they don’t fully grasp why. I have days that feel like I’m in a pressure cooker, on the verge of bursting. There’s no partner to step in when you’re too drained to cook dinner or just need a moment of solitude. No one to say, “I’ll handle dinner,” or “Take a breather; I’ll watch the kids.”
To all the single parents out there, I see you. I understand the joy you feel on good days when you know you made the right choice. But I also know how those moments can be shattered by reminders of what you’ve lost, like seeing a family stroll down the street or a commercial featuring a product you once enjoyed together. It’s a tough gig, and yes, some weeks are just about getting by, doing the bare minimum because you’re exhausted from the weight of everything.
These feelings don’t just vanish. They can fade but often come crashing back when you least expect it. So, here’s a gentle reminder: take time for yourself. Celebrate your journey. You don’t need to wait for National Single Parent Day or even a full day to acknowledge your efforts. Just do something that reminds you of how incredible you are in this role, even when it feels impossible.
As for me, I treated myself to a new book and my favorite snacks for the next quiet hour I can manage. And I definitely won’t be enjoying them on my bedroom floor anymore; that’s for sure.
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