Sex has never been a point of contention in my marriage. While I often hear about couples struggling with differing sexual appetites, my partner and I have always been on the same page. We’re both eager to engage nearly every day, and this has been our routine for almost two decades. However, things take a turn when I start breastfeeding.
Having three children has taught me that breastfeeding completely zaps my sex drive. It’s like my libido just vanished. The demands of milk production really dampen my enthusiasm, and this phase lasts as long as I’m nursing.
Not only does breastfeeding diminish my desire for intimacy, but it also makes achieving orgasm feel nearly impossible. Even when my husband tries his best to set the mood, it can take forever to reach even a slight climax—if it happens at all. Thankfully, my husband is understanding; he doesn’t complain and recognizes that we’re in this together. Sure, it’s my body that’s changing, but it’s OUR sex life that’s affected.
When I’m nursing, I often feel overwhelmed by constant physical contact. With my children needing me for everything—food, comfort, or even just laughter—I just don’t want to share those rare moments of personal space with anyone else. Breastfeeding can be relentless!
However, there is hope. As each of my children approaches their first birthday, my body begins to return to its previous state. Although other factors are at play, a big part of it is that my kids tend to reduce their nursing sessions around this age.
My youngest recently turned one, and she’s down to just a few feedings a day. I’m finally feeling refreshed, my body is healing, and I’m back in the game! Just a couple of weeks ago, I woke up to my husband, fresh out of the shower, and suddenly, I was wide awake—my desire sparked instantly. Unfortunately, time was not on our side, and I was left frustrated.
After a morning of daydreaming about him, I sent a cheeky text during his lunch break. By the time he got home, I had ensured the kids were occupied or sleeping. I’d never seen him undress so quickly! For the first time in over a year, my body responded like it used to, and it didn’t take long at all. He smirked and said, “Welcome back,” which felt like a huge relief.
This renewed intimacy feels vital, especially as I’m in my late thirties. I had started to worry that my body might never feel the same again after having three kids in quick succession. But I’m thrilled to say I was wrong!
Since then, I’ve been finding plenty of opportunities for intimacy, even squeezing in some morning fun despite my usual aversion to early hours. This surge of affection has improved my mood and helped ease my anxiety. Feeling good in my body has made a significant difference in how I manage my mental health.
The best part of this journey is recognizing how my body transitions from childbirth to feeling normal again—my body accomplished something incredible. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with preferring a nap over intimacy when you’re exhausted from nighttime feedings. It’s completely normal, and everyone has their own timeline for getting back to intimacy.
If you’re struggling to feel sexy after having a baby, don’t despair. You will eventually find yourself enjoying those intimate moments again, even if the soundtrack includes kids’ shows in the background. So, hang in there!
For more information on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource from the CDC. And if you’re considering your options for artificial insemination, you can find an authority on this topic here.
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In summary, breastfeeding can significantly impact your sex drive, leading to changes in intimacy with your partner. However, as your body adjusts post-nursing, you may find your libido returning, allowing you to reconnect with your partner in fulfilling ways.
Keyphrase: Breastfeeding and sex drive
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