Why I Prefer My Daughter Not to Be the First Female President

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By: Amina Patel

As a mother, I’ve developed what I like to call my “Mom Face.” It’s that expression I wear when confronted with questions or situations that take me by surprise. It’s my way of maintaining a semblance of control while navigating the complexities of parenting. With the world rapidly changing, I want my children to feel comfortable discussing anything, even the tough topics. But some questions, like those surrounding gender and leadership, are particularly challenging to tackle.

During the chaotic election season in 2020, my daughter bounded up to me, exclaiming, “I’m going to be the first girl president of the United States!” Her enthusiasm was infectious, and although I was exhausted from the day’s work, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride. She had just read an inspiring book about a young girl determined to break the mold and become president, and it lit a spark in her little heart.

However, the book didn’t delve into the underlying reasons why all past presidents have been men, leaving me to explain the harsh reality of sexism in a way that wouldn’t crush her spirit. “Some men believed women shouldn’t be presidents, and even when women were allowed to run, none have won yet,” I told her, trying to keep my Mom Face intact. My explanation felt inadequate, and I struggled to convey the more complex issues surrounding misogyny and systemic barriers without losing her belief that she could achieve anything.

In her young mind, she sees capable women around her—moms who work hard, support their families, and break boundaries. She thinks of a world where gender doesn’t dictate one’s potential. I want her to understand that while she can aspire to anything, the journey may be fraught with challenges. The ugly truth is that the field has historically favored men.

As we approached the recent election and the exciting moment of having our first female Vice President, I began to feel a renewed hope. When my daughter asks if she can be the first girl president, I now respond with genuine conviction, affirming her dreams.

My heart swells with pride for my multicultural daughter living in Texas, and I want her to be brave and aim high. While I want to inspire her, I also wish for the next generation of girls to have the opportunity to lead without delay. If my daughter dreams of being president, I hope she has to compete with many other capable girls for the position, rather than waiting decades for gender equality.

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In summary, while I want my daughter to dream big and pursue her ambitions, I also wish for a world where her journey is filled with equal opportunities, not barriers. Ultimately, I hope to instill in her the belief that she can achieve anything, but I also want her to see that progress is a collective effort.

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