I vividly remember the intense pressure that came with being a new mom. Other parents seemed convinced that using flashcards, noisy educational toys, Baby Einstein videos, and handpicked board books would turn our little ones into prodigies. Bragging about our kids’ achievements became the norm. Could your fourteen-month-old count to five in Spanish? Did your child know their shapes, letters, days of the week, or months? The race to see whose kindergartner made the honor roll was relentless.
But here’s the reality: Babies just want to play. Their primary responsibilities should be to eat, sleep, and occasionally throw a tantrum. Yet we were all too eager to boast about our kids’ accomplishments. With time and more children, I’ve come to understand that parenting isn’t about us as parents. Our children don’t benefit from our bragging or from comparing them to others. In fact, it often makes us seem self-important. The drive to make our kids appear exceptional—and to broadcast it—is a product of privilege.
There’s nothing wrong with being proud of our children or sharing their achievements with friends and family, especially in the age of social media. However, when we push our kids to perform for adult validation, primarily to bolster our own egos, it becomes problematic. This approach only teaches children that their worth is tied to our momentary happiness.
Parents can provide love, support, and encouragement, but that doesn’t guarantee their kids will excel compared to others. Some children have special needs, while others may simply develop at a different pace. I often feel frustrated when I hear new moms at the park bragging about their toddlers’ milestones, wondering about the mother at the edge, pushing her non-verbal child in an adaptive swing. Where do they fit into this competitive narrative?
The notion of having the “best” kids often stems from privilege. Not all parents can afford extracurricular activities or specialized training that give their children a head start. Many parents struggle just to access basic educational resources for their kids, especially those with special needs. We fight for equal opportunities in education and necessary therapies, while others are already benefiting from advantages in life.
I believe most parents love their children deeply, but when they imply they’re superior based on their kids’ achievements, they inadvertently suggest that parenting is a reflection of their own abilities. This comparison is both unnecessary and rude.
The ableism and privilege woven into parental bragging can be unsettling. It sends the message that all other parents simply need to try harder. Yet, the truth is that children who excel often have financial advantages and opportunities that aren’t available to everyone.
We embrace our children for who they are, whether they are big or small for their age, possess different abilities, or require assistance. Our goal is to support their growth at their own pace without succumbing to the pressure of parental bragging.
I wish I could tell my younger self that it really doesn’t matter when my baby crawled compared to others. Who cares if another child sleeps through the night and mine doesn’t? That doesn’t reflect my parenting skills or suggest anything is wrong with my child. It’s irrelevant when my preschooler learned to write their name or to distinguish numbers.
Bragging serves no one. It may temporarily boost the bragger’s self-esteem but can foster feelings of resentment in listeners. It’s counterproductive to frame our children’s development—regardless of their pace—as a measure of our worth. We can celebrate our children’s achievements without making it about us.
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Summary:
This article discusses the pressures of parental bragging, highlighting how it stems from privilege and often detracts from a child’s true worth. It argues that parenting should focus on supporting children’s individual growth rather than competing with other parents. The piece encourages authentic celebration of children’s achievements without making them a reflection of parental success.
Keyphrase: parental bragging
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