On Saturday mornings, I take my 13-year-old son, Ethan, out for sodas, and we cruise around our quaint town in Oregon while playing Pokémon Go. At this age, he often shows little interest in my suggestions, but this particular activity has him racing down the stairs and jumping into the car at 7 a.m. I know many of you might think, “7 A.M.? Why so early?” But I’m an early riser, and most of the family sleeps in. This time is really just for Ethan and me, free from the distractions of his younger siblings, and we usually return home before anyone else wakes up.
I’m not sure how it all began. One morning, both of us happened to be awake, and I asked him if he wanted to do something together. Now, his enthusiasm every Saturday morning has become the highlight of my week. More importantly, it has created a vital connection for us during these challenging times.
Just two weeks ago, we were on our way to a Pokémon raid, hoping to catch a shiny one. He was using a lot of terms I didn’t quite get, so I nodded along and followed his directions, a usual routine for us. To be honest, I don’t fully grasp everything about the game, but I’m learning. While Ethan is focused on the Pokémon, I cherish the opportunity to converse with him. In between our Pokémon discussions, he opened up about his Zoom classes and expressed how much he missed his friends. He also shared his fears from when his mom was hospitalized with sepsis last October, and how odd it felt to celebrate Halloween without her. I listened, sometimes asking questions and always validating his feelings about the past year.
As we headed home, I thought about how unremarkable our morning seemed, just like many of our Pokémon hunts. That was until Ethan turned to me and said, “Thanks for listening.” It was still a bit dark outside, and as the streetlights flickered, I noticed his eyes were glistening, close to tears. I didn’t say anything, but in that moment, it became clear how much he had been affected by the previous year. With remote schooling, his mother’s health scare, and the ongoing pandemic, he had been dealing with a lot. That Pokémon hunting trip had turned into a valuable chance for him to express himself.
When we got back home, I parked the van and gave him a long, sincere hug. “I’m always here if you need to talk,” I assured him. He nodded, gave me a small smile, wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie, and went inside. I lingered in the van for a moment, realizing how crucial it was for me to be present for him.
Of course, not every outing for sodas and Pokémon is this impactful. Sometimes, we just drive around in silence. But the key is that we’re together, and he has the chance to talk when he feels like it. These Saturday mornings have provided him with a space to share his thoughts about what has been a tough year. He’s a teenager navigating a pandemic, and that’s no small feat.
So, to all the parents out there raising teenagers during these trying times, I recommend finding ways to simply be with them. Whether it’s going out for ice cream, taking a walk, or driving around listening to music once a week, it’s essential to create opportunities for connection. I feel fortunate that Pokémon Go has been our vehicle for bonding, but if you can carve out time for your teen, you might discover they need your support now more than ever.
While they might not open up like Ethan did, providing them with a casual setting to express themselves is crucial right now. This past year has been hard on everyone, including our teens.
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