Last week, a sign hung in my son’s room, marking what should have been his exciting return to ice hockey after a lengthy break due to COVID-19. His anticipation was palpable, and he had been counting down the days. Just the night before, he exclaimed, “I can’t wait for hockey tomorrow, Mom!”
He truly needs this opportunity. The exercise, the camaraderie with teammates, the structure of a routine, and the valuable lessons learned through competition are essential. He craves the encouragement from a coach—an influence different from that of a parent or teacher. He looks forward to the thrill of winning and the sting of losing, both of which teach resilience. He needs to struggle on the ice sometimes to understand the importance of hard work, and to occasionally excel to see that effort brings rewards. He needs to vent about referees after games to learn that some things in sports are beyond his control. He needs to grapple with the physicality of the game to distinguish between fair play and foul.
The morning of his big day, he bounced out of bed with pure enthusiasm, changing his sign to read “Happy Hockey” and singing an impromptu song about the game. His excitement made us all smile. It was a long-awaited day, one that felt uncertain due to the pandemic’s tendency to disrupt plans. Off he went to school, beaming with joy.
Then the phone rang: “Jaden is now in quarantine.” I was taken aback, my mind racing with questions that felt irrational. It turned out Jaden had been in class with a student who tested positive for COVID. My immediate thought? “What about hockey?” I should have been concerned for his well-being and what this meant for our family plans, but my focus was solely on the fact that he would miss hockey for another two weeks—completely unexpected and out of our control. This was the essence of life during the pandemic—disappointment.
I worry about the unspoken lessons our children are absorbing through this experience: to rely on nothing, to expect disappointment, and to temper their excitement for fear that it may be dashed at the last moment. Kids should be able to trust in school, sports, and their routines, but those foundations have crumbled over the past year.
What will this mean for Jaden’s future reactions? Will he hold back his excitement next time, or will he cautiously navigate his emotions in an attempt to shield himself from disappointment? As a parent, how can I support him during such an extended period of uncertainty? What is the solution? What comes next?
There are no clear answers.
This is just one small but significant experience in a year filled with such challenges. Our children have been conditioned to expect the worst and to guard their joy, which is deeply concerning. I worry about their well-being now and in the future; I fear for their mental health and wonder if I’m doing enough to help.
When I picked Jaden up from school that day, I saw the confusion in his tearful blue eyes as he asked, “But what about hockey tonight, Mom?” I reassured him that he would play again in two weeks, hoping to convince myself as much as him. Fortunately, he’s counting down the days once more, filled with excitement and a hint of hope for no last-minute cancellations. As for me, I remain uncertain.
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In summary, as we navigate this challenging time, our children are learning lessons about disappointment and unpredictability. It’s important to support them and help them find joy amidst uncertainty, all while we process our own feelings about the situation.
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