There are countless things experienced parents caution newcomers about when it comes to raising kids. Our bodies will transform—our hips, busts, faces, and even our backsides. Sleep will be a distant memory for at least a decade, and finances will take a hit due to the high costs of diapers, followed by expenses for kids’ activities, school supplies, and hefty grocery bills. Plus, getting out of the house will feel nearly impossible until the toddler phase is behind us.
But did anyone mention the feeling of being “touched out”? This aspect of motherhood caught me completely off guard. After bringing three little ones into the world in quick succession, there was always a small person either growing inside me, nursing from me, or climbing all over me, every single minute of every day for six long years. Even now, as they’ve grown, I occasionally feel overwhelmed by the constant need for physical closeness, from the moment I wake up until I tuck them in at night. Some evenings, I simply don’t have the energy to cuddle anyone at bedtime.
Our confessional is filled with the same feelings from other parents who are equally “touched out.” You’ll hear from moms with newborns, mothers of toddlers, breastfeeding advocates, those navigating potty training, and parents stuck at home for what feels like forever due to circumstances beyond their control. And of course, there are partners who come seeking affection when all we really want is a moment to ourselves.
“I’m cluster breastfeeding twins, my toddler won’t leave my side, and my husband wants to cuddle. I’m beyond exhausted and just can’t take any more touch.”
“I have a 5-month-old who is teething and wants to nurse every half hour. I’m so touched out! All I crave is a glass of wine and a good shower.”
“My little one screams when I even think about giving her a bottle. I’m just so tired and need a break.”
“My baby is four weeks old, and my spouse keeps bringing up intimacy. I’m too exhausted from nursing to even consider it.”
Breastfeeding can leave you feeling completely drained and overwhelmed. The reality of having another human being depending on you constantly can be exhausting, especially if your baby is cluster-feeding or if you’re caring for multiples.
“My temper is thin, and even though my daughter is four, I feel so lazy and just want to be alone. I’m so touched out.”
“I have three kids who always want to be on me and a partner who thrives on physical affection. I’m utterly touched out!”
Those little ones eventually turn into toddlers and preschoolers, but the demands don’t stop. They continue to need us for everything—getting them snacks, helping with tasks, or just holding them. Even after doing what feels like everything, they still want to be near us every waking moment (and sometimes even while they sleep).
“I’m so touched out that I found myself crying today because my kids wouldn’t give me a moment’s peace. Motherhood can be really tough.”
“Stepping outside to check the mail is the only time I get a break from the kids. As a stay-at-home parent, I’m completely burnt out and exhausted. No one believes me when I say I’m overwhelmed.”
“Last night, as my three-year-old fell asleep beside me, I silently cried. I’m so touched out that I couldn’t even find a moment for myself.”
Being truly touched out can lead to feelings of frustration or sadness. If you’re experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions, know that you’re not alone.
How do parents find time for intimacy again after welcoming a new baby? By the time my little one is down for the night, I feel completely drained and in need of personal time—whether that’s taking a shower, catching up on work emails, or simply having a break.
“I need to feel relaxed to be intimate, but relaxation feels like a fantasy these days!”
“When my partner tries to kiss or touch me, it sends me into a panic. I just want to escape for a week by myself.”
“I wish my partner could trade places with me for a day to truly understand the exhaustion of being ‘touched out.’ Maybe then they’d grasp why I often decline intimacy.”
“I joke about my two-week-long period each month, but honestly, I cherish it because it gives me space from my partner. Sorry, but I’m just so touched out that intimacy feels impossible.”
So, when our partners hint at intimacy or try to sneak in a kiss, we might snap out of sheer desperation for personal space. The reality is that feeling “touched out” is a significant part of motherhood for many of us, especially when we’re cooped up all day with little ones constantly wanting to be close. What we truly need is for our partners to step in and take the kids out for an entire day, allowing us to retreat into our own space—whether that means reading, binge-watching shows, or simply enjoying solitude. After reclaiming our personal space, perhaps we’ll feel more open to intimacy.
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Summary:
Feeling “touched out” is a common experience for many parents, especially those surrounded by young children who constantly seek physical closeness. This article explores the emotional and physical exhaustion that comes with motherhood, highlighting the importance of personal space and communication with partners. It resonates with parents who find themselves overwhelmed by the demands of their children and the need for intimacy.
Keyphrase: Touched out parents
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