We often laugh about characters like Regina George and her mean antics, but let’s face it—mean girls are very much a reality and can inflict serious emotional pain. We encountered them in elementary school, when they would mock our hand-me-down shoes or tease us for still wearing pigtails, claiming they were for “little kids.” As teens, we’d find out about sleepovers we weren’t invited to, only to learn later that we were the subject of ridicule that night. And even as adults, we realize that mean girls evolve into mean women.
They’re the mothers at school drop-off who exclude new moms from their snobby circles. They’re the women in our neighborhoods who host exclusive events and conveniently forget to invite us, leaving us at home watching the cars roll up to their houses. They can be our in-laws, cousins, or even our sisters—mean girls can be any age, from 12 to 70.
Since they are an unavoidable part of life, we must toughen our resolve, not allow them to dim our spirits, and remember that we don’t need high-end brands to feel good about ourselves. It’s perfectly fine to wear our $20 Target pants while surrounded by people who cherish us for who we are.
It’s also crucial to educate our children about this harsh truth—that mean girls will always be around. Most importantly, we must strive to raise kind children who include others and know how to be genuine friends. A wonderful way to instill these values is by exemplifying kindness ourselves—because our children are always watching.
For instance, my friend Lily’s daughter recently faced harsh treatment from a former friend. It breaks my heart to see Lily’s daughter question her worth when she’s done nothing wrong; she’s simply dealing with a “mean girl.”
Confession #12345678: Seeing my daughter upset about unkind peers makes me reflect on my own experiences as a child. I still remember how it felt to desire acceptance, and I realize that this is a cycle we need to break by teaching our kids the importance of inclusiveness and compassion.
It’s disheartening to see mean girl behavior starting so early. Many of us have had our little ones come home in tears after facing unkindness from their classmates. Lessons on handling mean girls begin at a young age and tragically continue throughout life.
I’m now in my 30s, and I still recall how I was treated by the mean girls in college. The wounds don’t heal easily. It hurts more when we contemplate whether it’s worse to be intentionally excluded or simply forgotten.
Confession #23456789: I’ve let friend requests from former high school mean girls linger unanswered on my social media. No, they won’t get a glimpse into my life; they’ve earned their mediocre existence.
The truth is, these experiences leave lasting impressions. The actions of those we thought were friends can deeply affect us and linger well into adulthood.
While we hope that the mean girl phenomenon will dissipate as time passes, we often encounter older women still perpetuating the same behavior. It seems the cycle continues, as we witness mean girls evolve into mean women.
The internet has only provided these mean girls with a new platform to express their negativity. Confession #34567890: I once had a friend who mocked another member of our mommy group in a mass email, complete with an unflattering photo. There’s no escaping this behavior.
If we discover our daughters behaving unkindly, it’s a reflection of our own actions. They learn from what they observe us doing—do they see us lifting others up, or do they hear us gossiping about others’ appearances or choices? On the flip side, if we model kindness and acceptance, our children will learn to embrace differences and treat others with respect.
It’s time to break the cycle of mean girls, and it all starts with us.
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In summary, mean girls are a persistent reality throughout life, impacting us from childhood into adulthood. By modeling kindness and teaching our children to be inclusive, we can break this cycle and promote compassion in future generations.
Keyphrase: Mean Girls and Kindness
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