It’s a well-known fact that I’ve often been quite the perfectionist, a stickler for rules, and someone who values punctuality above all else. Sounds thrilling, right?
When I welcomed my first child, I managed to maintain a semblance of control for a significant period. I was always there to intervene before my toddler could munch on playground mulch, and I had hand sanitizer on standby for any questionable surfaces she touched in public. I adhered to a strict schedule, treating naptime as a sacred ritual that I would never compromise.
With just one child, it’s easier to maintain control. You’re not outnumbered, and the chaos is still manageable. Fast forward to today, and I’m the mother of three, with over a decade of parenting experience. Despite my best efforts, I still cling to control. My children have set bedtimes, and punctuality remains a priority for me. However, I’m gradually learning that their joy and emotions outweigh my rigid rules.
Letting go has become essential, especially with more kids than parents in the house. Sometimes, the best response is simply to say yes.
As someone with OCD, disorder and chaos are particularly challenging for me. So, believe me when I say that adopting the role of a yes parent has required significant effort. A yes parent allows for messiness, embraces spontaneous lemonade stands on scorching days, and accepts that crafting with glitter or involving the kids in dinner prep may take longer than doing it solo.
Yes parents agree to play in the rain and to fort-building sessions, even when it means living with a makeshift living room for weeks. They carry around an excess of toys, like 82 Lego bricks brought to the park because a little one just couldn’t leave them behind. Yes parents often invite friends over, extend bedtimes occasionally, and embark on spontaneous zoo trips simply because their kids asked—because chores can wait.
Yes parents understand the importance of letting their children experience childhood fully, even if it means getting a little messy. This approach doesn’t equate to spoiling; it’s about recognizing that time with our kids is fleeting. One day, you might regret not saying yes more often to things that seem trivial but mean the world to your children.
For a perfectionist, accepting the role of a yes parent is far from straightforward. It requires conscious effort and a daily reassessment of what truly matters. It demands you to remind yourself that the small moments—like baking cookies on a random Wednesday—can hold significant value.
It means setting aside your own preferences for order and control, at least for now, while your children are still young. Embracing more yes moments can lead to greater happiness for everyone, helping you find joy in the little things that create lasting memories for your kids.
If you can push through the anxiety when your kids want to pour their own milk—despite the inevitable spills—and recognize that these experiences foster growth for everyone, you’ll discover that saying yes brings about the true magic of childhood. It’s also a journey of personal growth for you.
When you start witnessing the magic unfold and the memories being crafted, you’ll feel your mind and body relax. You’ll realize that you’re making the right choices for the whole family, and it’s a wonderful feeling.
Saying yes allows you to view the world through your children’s eyes, finding joy in simple activities like tossing stones into a creek or watching them blow dandelions in the yard. If you can take a deep breath and adopt their perspective, you’ll see a world filled with hope and possibilities—even if that means filling up the backyard pool when you’d rather not deal with the mess or letting them blow bubbles indoors on a dreary day.
Chances are, you’ll discover that not only are your kids enjoying their childhood more, but you too are truly uncovering the magic that can emerge from just one simple word – yes.
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Summary
Becoming a ‘yes’ parent can transform your family dynamics by allowing more joy and flexibility in your children’s lives. It encourages you to let go of rigid control and embrace spontaneous moments, ultimately leading to richer memories and personal growth.