Taking your child to the dentist shouldn’t be a source of shame, even if it turns out they need significant dental work. My four-year-old has undergone a surprising amount of dental procedures—four crowns and eight fillings, with another appointment scheduled next week. One of his front teeth has been filled after being knocked out twice, and it looks like another crown is on the way.
I recognize how fortunate we are that my husband’s job provides solid dental insurance. It’s also a blessing that our son is calm during his appointments, sparing us the added costs of sedation. Nonetheless, the expense has been considerable, and I can’t imagine the stress if financial constraints were a factor. No one should face financial barriers to healthcare, including dental care, and we need to work toward a system where everyone can manage their oral health.
While I’m thankful we can afford the crowns and fillings, I hesitate to discuss the extent of my child’s dental issues due to the judgment that often comes with it. Some people might think I’m not diligent enough about his oral hygiene. However, those assumptions are misguided (and frankly, quite rude). Ask any parent whose child seems to attract cavities despite their best efforts.
My older son has never had a dental issue. He visits the dentist twice a year, always leaves with a clean bill of health, and enjoys the experience. At eight, he has shiny teeth and looks forward to his appointments.
When it came time for my younger son’s first dental visit, I didn’t rush it since his brother had such a positive experience. He was three when I finally took him in, only to discover he already had a cavity! Unfortunately, due to the pandemic, we missed a follow-up appointment, and I mistakenly thought his teeth could wait a little longer for care.
One day, while flossing, I noticed a cavity forming between his front teeth. Shocked, I wondered how this could happen. We are meticulous about his dental care—never skipping brushing or flossing, avoiding sugary drinks, and never allowing bottles in bed, even as infants.
I called the dentist and booked an appointment for the next day, feeling anxious and embarrassed. I dreaded the possibility of being lectured or having the dentist think I wasn’t caring for my child as I should.
During the appointment, my heart sank as I learned that not only did he have the visible cavity, but most of his other teeth required attention as well. I felt like a terrible parent for not knowing about his dental problems.
I explained to the dentist how devoted I am to his oral care. It was a confusing and distressing situation.
In retrospect, I shouldn’t have been so upset. The dentist reassured me that many children are simply more prone to cavities, regardless of how well they are cared for. There are various factors at play, and dental hygiene is just one piece of the puzzle.
As troubling as it can feel when your child needs extensive dental work, rest assured that dentists understand this happens. Pediatric dentists exist because, at times, children’s teeth can fail, even when they’re well cared for.
Don’t hesitate to bring your kids to the dentist, even if you suspect they may require work. Dr. Sarah Thompson, a family dentist based in New Jersey, emphasizes that dental issues can arise despite the best hygiene practices. Sometimes, the enamel quality is influenced by factors beyond our control, such as illnesses during tooth formation.
It’s essential to start a relationship with a dentist early, ideally when the first tooth erupts around six months old. These initial visits can help establish good oral hygiene habits and allow for regular monitoring.
Dr. Thompson encourages parents to approach dental experiences positively, avoiding passing any anxiety onto their children. Even if you worry your child might need significant work, don’t let that deter you from seeking care. A compassionate dentist will not only treat your child’s dental issues but also offer support and reassurance.
While going to the dentist can be stressful and even embarrassing, remember that it’s not a reflection of your parenting. It’s normal for kids to need dental work, and that’s what dentists are here for.
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In summary, don’t let fear or embarrassment keep you from getting your child the dental care they need. Many factors contribute to dental health, and it’s important to maintain a positive outlook about dental visits. Remember, dentists are here to help, not judge.
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