Last week, I received multiple reminders that my three oldest children’s report cards were ready for viewing. A few days later, I got notifications about unread messages, including those related to the report cards. The reminders worked, and I finally unearthed the passwords for my kids’ accounts and took a look.
As always, I bypassed the letter grades and percentages associated with each subject, heading straight for the teacher comments. To me, the grades are far less significant than the insights teachers provide about my children. Numbers are cold and only capture part of the reality. The comments are what truly matter to me as a parent.
Is my child kind, respectful, and engaged in their learning? I want to know about their character. A C in math is acceptable, but if they are a good listener and participant, that’s a success in my eyes. Honor roll? Not a priority. I teach my kids to give their best effort without sacrificing their well-being. Moreover, honor roll achievements can be influenced by ableism; those who have the resources and advantages are often the ones who achieve the highest rankings.
I’ll always remember when one of my kids’ kindergarten teachers noted that she was inclusive and kind. That year, the classroom was crowded, with eight students transitioning from special education for parts of the day. One of the children was non-verbal and communicated via a tablet. How did my child treat that peer and others with special needs?
Her ability to write her name, recognize sight words, perform basic addition, and handle scissors is important, but it pales in comparison to how she interacts with others and respects herself. The social and emotional aspects of education hold greater importance for me than flawless academic skills. If a child enjoys school, they are naturally motivated to excel academically.
Another child received feedback stating they always come to school with a positive attitude. Every parent understands that attitude is crucial. If a child’s mindset isn’t right, they cannot learn effectively. I knew my child left for school as a happy, eager learner, but hearing that their positive mindset lasted throughout the day was incredibly meaningful to me.
One day, I received an email from another child’s teacher. A girl was upset because her mom was undergoing surgery and sat on the floor, crying. My child approached her, wrapped an arm around her, and cried with her. To me, that moment is worth more than any academic achievement.
As a former teacher, I prioritize my children loving learning and enjoying school. Enjoyment doesn’t equate to straight A’s, perfect attendance, or numerous awards. If those accolades come, great, but a love for learning can enrich their lives in various ways. Fostering curiosity and creativity is essential not only for intellectual growth but also for overall happiness.
I also understand that how my children treat and engage with others reflects their own character. We’ve all heard that “hurt people hurt people,” and similarly, when someone is kind, curious, and respectful, they inspire those qualities in others. When my children choose to open their hearts and minds to others, it indicates they are experiencing love, joy, and curiosity themselves. This creates a beautiful, reinforcing cycle.
I refuse to become the grade-obsessed parent because I know grades are just one aspect of a much larger picture. Our children are so much more than a letter or percentage. I won’t fixate on these metrics when my child’s physical, mental, and emotional health are far more crucial. Haven’t we all learned this lesson during the pandemic? If our kids lack safety and stability, and if they are not listened to, how can we expect them to learn effectively?
I fully acknowledge that biases exist within educational settings. Studies show that children of color and those with special needs often face disparities in treatment compared to their white, typically developing peers. As a parent of Black children, some of whom have special needs, I remain vigilant about these realities. While I value what teachers say about my children, I know it isn’t the whole truth.
Ultimately, I want my children to understand that I care most about their character—not their ability to flawlessly multiply fractions or recite the states in alphabetical order. Academic knowledge has its limits, but interpersonal skills—simply put, knowing how to interact well with others—are invaluable.
Do they stand up to bullies? Are they willing to do the right thing, even when it’s hard? Are they supportive of their peers? Do they respect their teachers? Are they capable of sincere apologies? These are the life skills that truly matter.
As I read and watch the news, I see so much entitlement, cowardice, and judgment. Where is humility, bravery, respect, and openness? I wonder how many individuals had parents who genuinely saw them and worked with them to cultivate character rather than just focusing on grades.
I may not be a parenting expert, and I can’t predict my four kids’ futures. However, I hope that by emphasizing who they are, recognizing their strengths, and encouraging their efforts to love themselves and others (which our values teach), I’m on the right path.
If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination, check out this resource from Make a Mom for valuable information. Additionally, you can explore this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination from American Pregnancy.
Search Queries:
- Importance of teacher comments on report cards
- How to encourage kindness in children
- The value of emotional intelligence in education
- Raising children with special needs in a diverse environment
- Home insemination kit resources
Summary:
This article emphasizes the importance of teacher comments over letter grades in assessing children’s development, focusing on character, kindness, and emotional health. The author reflects on personal experiences and the need for children to foster interpersonal skills and empathy, especially in a world that increasingly values grades over humanity.
Keyphrase: Importance of teacher comments in child development
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]