Recently, an article in the New York Times by journalist Alex Thompson discussed the rise in screen time for kids during the pandemic, alarming many parents and researchers. Citing sensational anecdotes and dire statistics, Thompson notes that children’s screen time has become their “entire existence.” A previously reassuring expert has changed her tune, warning of a potential “epic withdrawal” period. There are “legions of kids under 10” engrossed in TikTok, Fortnite, and Snapchat while parents seem at a loss. Video games have morphed into crucial social and emotional outlets for kids.
Hey, Alex? Seriously?
My Kids Are Active, Just Not Always Outside
Here’s the reality, Alex. My partner and I have pre-existing health conditions, and our three boys, aged 7, 9, and 11, have been isolated since March 13, 2020. We were fortunate enough to invest in an above-ground pool and a trampoline, but it’s January now. There are no frogs to catch; yesterday brought wind gusts of 30 mph; plus, my two youngest are likely to need therapy after becoming too anxious to step beyond our mailbox.
We’re engaged parents. We play board games, do arts and crafts, and chase them in the backyard. They have each other for company and invent games, including a bizarre LEGO universe filled with creatures they call “glurbos” on “Glurbo Island.” My middle child makes films, my youngest is obsessed with a game called Castle Defense, and my oldest listens to podcasts.
Screen Time Is a Necessity, Not a Crime
However, all that creative play can only go on so long before the tablets make an appearance. We both work, and with the pandemic keeping us cooped up together nearly 24/7, we need some time to ourselves. Sometimes, we desire adult conversations without interruptions about who’s cheating at a board game or who ruined whose art project. So, we allow our kids to use their Kindle Fires, as we always have, setting reasonable limits on screen time. They might enjoy games like Bad Piggies or Jurassic World: The Game or watch shows like “Gravity Falls” or “Amphibia.” This keeps them quiet and still, allowing us much-needed adult time. With everything going on, we need more of that than ever. The other night, I turned to my partner and said, “Just put on a movie for them so we can relax.”
“Absolutely,” he replied. We settled on “Isle of Dogs.” No shame here.
It’s not like we’re locking ourselves away doing anything scandalous—though there’s nothing wrong with that either. We read without interruptions, discuss work, and exchange quotes from “Sealab: 2021.” We simply need to unwind, and I stand firm against any judgment.
Not All Screen Time Is Equal
Yes, my kids have more screen time now than before the pandemic—much more. But Alex, not all screen time is created equal. My oldest connects with friends, which he desperately needs right now. If I handed him a phone and suggested he call people, you’d criticize that too, right? So, he might as well engage in video calls and learn to communicate through typing. They even play Dungeons and Dragons over Facebook Messenger Kids. No screen time shame here.
What about my other sons? Sure, some of their screen time involves “Star Wars: Clone Wars,” but they also watch educational content like “Planet Earth: 2.” They play a game that teaches anatomy, and my youngest has completed a puzzle game called Monument Valley. My oldest delves into comics and books. They even explore MIT’s Scratch coding program, use drawing apps, and create films. One game helps them memorize chemical elements.
This all counts as screen time by any standard, but I don’t believe it’s harming their brains.
Let’s Stop the Screen Time Judgment
We’re parents navigating a global pandemic—something unprecedented. We never anticipated waking up to this nightmare that feels increasingly surreal. My concerns revolve around my kids developing resilience, civic responsibility, and kindness towards others, not whether I’ll have to detox them from video games when this is all over.
Sure, my 11-year-old is currently engrossed in a “Star Wars” shooting game. Judge me if you must. My other two are engaged in a game related to the periodic table on my computer and a Kindle Fire. So much screen time, and I’m completely fine with it. We’re enduring the toughest period we’ve ever faced as a family, and we’re doing our best. Screen time is the least of my worries.
Let’s stop shaming parents. We need our devices, and so do our kids. Forcing them away from screens and isolating them from friends, as some parents in the article suggest? That seems unnecessarily harsh and likely more damaging than a little extra screen time.
You do you, of course. But I’ll hand my kids a screen like most parents in America do, and they’ll be just fine.